Cliff Pant-one

Daily Dagger #12: Because uncomfortable moments can be like daggers to the heart!

Amy told me this story, and it is so funny that I’m submitting it on her behalf. So, forgive me if I get any details wrong, Amy. But to clarify, I am writing this as if I am Amy.

This is weird, but I guess there is a pirate convention in New Orleans every year.  For that week or whatever, there are people dressed up as pirates all around town. So one night after work, some of my coworkers and I went to have a drink at a bar where my friend, Steve, works. Well, we were all waiting at the bar, and Steve wasn’t coming out so I decided to go back into the kitchen and get him. I walk in and there Steve is with a large group of pirates. They are setting up a group photo (in which Steve is included). Here is what happened: 

Steve: AMYYY, GET IN THE PICTURE!

Me: Uh…Okay, why not?! [walks to stand behind the pirates for the photo]

Steve: [whispering] Oh my gosh, when they count to three, lets squirt ketchup all over the pirates! [grabs two ketchup bottles and hands one to me]

Me: Alright I guess…

Photographer: 1-2-3!!!

[My arms shoot up with the ketchup and I flail around like a madman dousing everybody around me. STEVE smiles and poses for the picture…NOT squirting the ketchup. Then the picture has been taken, and I, alone, have splattered ketchup all over pirates who I’ve never met. I get really quiet and uncomfortable, but then all the pirates disperse and NOBODY mentions the ketchup.]

Me: Okkkk, time for a beer!

Did you have an awkward moment?  Email it to me, and it could be tomorrow's Daily Dagger!

I think I have a problem...

I just bought these.  I have no idea what to wear them with.  You can't go running in them...they are a "casual" shoe.  I don't even wear sneakers much.  I just really liked the polkadots.  So yeah.  I'm admitting it.  I have a shopping addiction.  I buy stuff I don't need- stuff that I don't even REMOTELY need...almost everyday. 

But I'm glad I got the shoes.  I think they're cute.  I don't care if I never even wear them.  I'm happy just to look at them.  Maybe I'll put them on display.

Daily Dagger #11: Because uncomfortable moments can be like daggers to the heart!

Submitted by Amy

SO, my head chef's are married.  The woman, we will call her "Carrie," is a real bitty.  Everyone hates her.  Carrie's husband, we will call him "Jim," is really awesome.  So yesterday I was supposed to make three cakes for the general manager's birthday. I was going insane from all the work.  So, after making the first cake, I took my [well deserved and needed] hour long break. 

When I came back, I was of course in trouble. Carrie started yelling, "YOU DIDN'T MAKE THE BUTTERCREAM FROSTING FOR THE SECOND CAKE!"  She had made it, and (chuckle) it didn't work. To make a long story short, she kept walking by and muttering things like, "Well Amy just can't handle it. She just cracks after one cake."

All of a sudden, I turned around and said "CARRIE, I DIDN'T CRACK! YOU ALWAYS TAKE OVER AND WANT TO DO THINGS YOURSELF, SO I JUST LET YOU!'"

WELL, then it just got really uncomfortable, and I guess she she started feeling bad about it.  She kept trying to apologize and make me like her again (which could never happen). 

So THEN her husband, Jim, comes up and says really loud,  "WHATS GOING ON OVER HERE? CARRIE, ARE YOU BEING A TOTAL BITCH AGAIN?" 

And I was just like, "ugh ... heh hehe... "

Then Jim looks at me and says, " YEAH AMY, THATS WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE!"

Then, Carrie slams down her knife and storms off, just leaving me standing there, with everyone in the kitchen looking at me. 

Then, in the middle of the silence, I blurted out, "It's about time something good happened around here!"

A few laughed... a few didn't know what to do.. needless to say, it was the kind of total awkwardness that gives you the "I think I wanna go home now" feeling. SALUD!

Did you have an awkward moment?  Email it to me, and it could be tomorrow's Daily Dagger!

Rock of Love's Daisy and Dave Navarro

According to RUMORS, Daisy De La Hoya (from the AMAZING Rock of Love 2) is dating Dave Navarro.  Dave plays guitar in Jane's Addiction.  He was also on a reality show, 'Til Death Do Us Part, which followed Dave and Carmen Electra as they planned their wedding...that marriage didn't work out. 

Sooo, Daisy and Dave met when she was a guest on his internet talk show.  Now, they've been spotted out and about together in LA.  Dave is Daisy's #2 Top Friend on myspace and Daisy is Dave's #4.  JUST SAYIN'. 

Anyways, seems to me like Daisy just wants to date famous rock stars.  Whatever.  Maybe she really just falls for the rocker types.  I just wanted to report the gossip, since I am obsessed with Rock of Love.  I wonder if Bret's jealous???  Hmm...

Now you can sleep better!

Call for daily daggers!

Nothing that awkward has happened to me lately!  I'm in desperate need of some Daily Daggers! I'm sure somebody out there is experiencing uncomfortable moments.  You can submit them even if they happened a long time ago.  Drag out the scenarios you were trying to bury in the back of your mind and never think about again.  Maybe sharing your cringers with the world will set your soul free...it can be very therapeutic. 

EMAIL THEM TO ME!!!!!!!!!  Just try to make sure they aren't offensive.

Feel free to remain anonymous! 

Best SYTYCD Dance Yet: Chelsie & Mark "Bleeding Love"

I know that not everybody cares about dance, but I do!  And besides that, this is worth sharing with the world!  Last night on So You Think You Can Dance, Chelsie and Mark did a hip hop routine to Bleeding Love.  It was SO good!  Jen and I were dumbfounded by how great it was.  We were almost moved to the point of tears!  INSANE, I KNOW!!!  The emotion in the dance is so intense!  You can't see everything as well as when it's on TV, but still, you must watch.

Spotted: Flying Bread on Tyron Road

The other day, I was driving down Tryon Road with my sister.  We were stopped at a light, waiting to make a left turn into The Kangaroo gas station. There was one car in front of us. It was a little burgundy compact car, and we could see that there was a passenger along with the driver.

All of a sudden, a packaged loaf of bread shot out of the passenger window. The loaf rocketed straight up in the air then smacked to a landing on the asphalt.

Katie and I watched from behind, completely baffled. Had a bag of bread really just flown out of the window? What was going on? Why bread? And why weren’t the passengers of the car reacting? Did they notice?

Now if you know me, you know that I have a strong distaste for litterbugs. I was appalled that these people were going to just drive away with the bread in the middle of the road. Number one, it’s litter. Number two, an animal could wander into the road to eat it and get smacked down by a car.  THAT would put animals AND innocent drivers at risk.

So, I honked my horn at the car and motioned to the side of the car where the bread was. Nothing happened. I tooted again.

Suddenly the driver’s side door thrust open. A big, bald, rednecky guy wearing jean shorts emerged. With fists clenched, the man barged around the back of the car, looking me in the straight in the eyes. I waved, trying to be friendly. I’d just wanted to be sure he knew the bread was out there. Reaching the passenger side, he snatched the bread. His stumpy fingers squished into the doughy bag.  Obviously, he could care less that the bread was being smushed. Snapping around to make his way back, we saw his lips mutter STUPID F*CKER!

He kept his head down until he got back to his side of the vehicle. Then before he entered himself, he hurled the bag of bread at the passenger. From our ride, we noticed his companion flinch as the bag barreled toward him/her.

By this time the light had turned green, and as soon as the man got back in the car, he tore off down the road. I pushed on the gas, slowly turning into The Kangaroo. Katie and I just looked at one another, mouths hanging open with no idea what exactly had just happened.

XOXO~ CLIFF PANT-ONE

Cliff's Favorite Things (just like Oprah's, but you buy it yourself): Shick Intuition

This may be old news, because it's been out for a while, but I'm completely obsessed with the Shick Intuition razor.  I was thinking about it in the car when I heard some commercial for laser hair removal.  They were saying, "Stop living with the daily chore of shaving."  And I thought, shaving is hardly a chore.  But then I realized that it's not a chore to ME because I use the Intuition!

I've had one since college, and I can't imagine having any other razor.  I admit, I DID have a brief stint with the Venus razor.  During that time, my life felt unfulfilled, and I went running back to the Intuition.

The Intuition has a brick of some kind of soap stuff on top so that you don't have to use shaving cream.  Just whip the thing up and down your legs a few times, and you're good to go.  It takes like MAYBE two minutes to shave your legs.  Plus, you never get cut! 

So anyways, go get one!  Maybe men can use it on their face?  Probably not, but it's worth a try.

So, I want a lot of dogs...

I have decided that I want four dogs.  The first, of course, being Tyra.  She can claim her position as "the alpha-female."  Then when I move out of my current apartment with Jen, I want to get another Shih Tzu (Twiggy)  As I like to say, one Shih Tzu is never enough.  Actually, that is the first time I've ever said that, but getting it out for the first time has made me really believe it. 

After that, I want to get a Goldendoodle.  I plan to call this Goldendoodle Chachi (like Scott Bayo on Happy Days).  This may have to be once I've moved into an actual house with a fenced in back yard. 

And FINALLY, once I have a family I think, I will get my Weimaraner who might be named Steven or something.  I'm not sure yet.  Maybe Vanessa if it is a girl. 

And MAYBEEE if I'm feeling impulsive, I'll get a Pekingese named Twinkle Toes.  I hope I have a big house.  Maybe I'll have to marry a farmer, so we can have a lot of land.  It's hard finding farms in Raleigh though.  I really don't want to move to the middle of nowhere.  I guess there is always on-line shopping though...

Here is a photo of my future pack for you to admire (click to enlarge):

Want a dog?  RESCUE a pet today!  Click HERE for the SPCA of Raleigh! 

Drank: Slow your roll.

I first heard about Drank on Perez Hilton's blog (the competition, I know...), and I was immediately intrigued.  Drank is an anti-energy drink.  Inspired by the hip-hop community in Houston, Drank is proven to "slow your roll." 

Drank combines rose hip, melatonin and valerian to give you a nice relaxed feeling.  According to Drank's press release:

"From design to production, every aspect of this calming drink was inspired by today’s popular hip hop artists who embrace the much sought-after hip hop lifestyle that encourages people to capture a stress-free state of mind."

I've also heard that Drank is supposed to be similar to  "Purple Drank," which (according to wikipedia) is "a recreational drug popular in [...] the southern United States. Its main ingredient is prescription-strength cough syrup containing codeine and promethazine."   

Unlike Purple Drank, Drank is comprised of all legal ingredients- which let's be honest, will probably not do anything but make you drowsy. 

I am curious to try this Drank.  I wonder if you are allowed to drive with Dranking...

You can buy Drank on-line at www.buysomedrank.com .  I've emailed the company to find out if there is anywhere in NC to buy the stuff.  Rest assured that I will update when I'm informed!

UPDATE: Via email, I asked the Drank people, "Does anybody in NC sell Drank?"  This is the response I got: "I Dont Know Im An Inline Distributor." 

Ugh, no help there!  Guess we will just have to buy on-line!  P.S.  What is an inline distributor and why did he capitalize every word???

Daily Dagger #10: Because uncomfortable moments can be like daggers to the heart!

Submitted by Kitty

I was about to cross the street at a crowded crosswalk on NCSU’s campus. A really cute guy on a motorcycle was coming toward me. I thought he was going to stop, but he kept accelerating as I made my way into the street. He was about to ram me when I noticed. “OH MY GOD I’M GOING TO DIE,” I screamed like a maniac as I ran back to the sidewalk. Everybody stopped and stared at me. Crickets chirped!

Miller Lyte

Matthew McConaughey has a brother named Michael (or Rooster, as his friends like to call him).  Well, Rooster had a baby and decided to name him Miller Lyte after his favorite beer.  Good thing he's not a Natural Lite drinker.  The baby could've been named Natty Lite.   Michael's wife told him that if they had a baby boy, he could pick the name.  She said if they had a girl, he'd probably want to name it Ginny after Miller Genuine Draft!  I can't believe the wife agreed to the name Miller Lyte.  Maybe they could have just named him Miller and given the baby a different middle name...

Anyways, I think it's great, but Michael's wife should probably get some sort of a trophy for being the most compromising wife ever. 

So You Think You Can Dance?

I love So You Think You Can Dance.   It's a great show.  Plus, it reminds me of my days at dance...my glory days.  Anyway, there are a bunch of dancers on the show this season that are just spectacular!   But I wanted to share one SYTYCD moment in particular that me and Jen found hilarious. 

Let me set it up.  So this is Chelsea and Thayne dancing the cha-cha to Oye Coma Va.  They do AMAZING, and it's really fun to watch!  Oh yeah, and Chlesea looks BEAUTIFUL!  WHAT A BODY?!  But the best moment of the clip comes during the judging.  I recommend you watch the whole video, but if you don't have time, fast forward to 4 minutes and 45 seconds.  Right after annoying Mary Murphy shouts  "YOU GOT TWO TICKETS TO THE HOT TAMALE TRAIN," watch Thayne's reaction.  It is PRICELESS!!!

Oh Thayne!  He is just a ball of fun!  I love him!!! 

Ja-maican' Me Hongary!

I realize that I may have a strange sense of humor, or maybe I just find totally stupid things hilarious.  But at the risk of coming off like a total lunatic, I'm going to share something with you.

Every now and then, like most people, I have trouble falling asleep at night.  I usually read or play online when this happens.  There are times when I am still not tired after I have surfed all the essential sites: Facebook, Perez Hilton, Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, Forever 21, What Would Taylor Durden Do, and The NC Inmate Directory (usually in that order).  So, when I'm STILL awake after all of that I go to Myspace (which I feel has lost a lot of it luster).  And one day, I SOMEHOW found these weird myspace pages, and they are incredibly addicting. 

They are Myspace pages dedicated to food!  Yeah!  Here are some of my favorites (don't judge):

Cupcake: This page is hilarious!  I love that it has the Growing Pains theme song playing in the background!  Cupcake also has a lot of other foods in its Top Friends, so you can get off to a good start on your Foods of Myspace scavenger hunt!

Fried Rice: This one is great because the Fried Rice is acting like a person!  Check out his About Me section!  This is my favorite quote from the Fried Rice: "Sometimes when nobody is looking I like to dance! But I know, even if I don't like to say it, that the dream of dancing will never come true for just a plate of rice."

Fried Cheese: Just looks good. 

There are so many more.  If you get on a good trail, the possibilities of how many you will find can be limitless! 

Anyway, some of the sites offer recipes or history about the featured foods, so it can be pretty informative.  I don't know who has time to sit around making these.  I guess I can't really talk, because I sit around looking at them.   I just think it's highly entertaining. 

And none for Gretchen Weiners...

I have no idea who these people are, but this made me laugh REALLY hard.

Cliff's Favorite Things (just like Oprah's, but you buy it yourself): THE SLAMMER!

My sister shared something with me today, and it might just be the best thing ever.   I am being compelled to share it with all of you.  What she brought over was a small magazine printed on newsprint paper called The Slammer.  The Slammer is a weekly publication that prints MUGSHOTS of people who have been arrested in the area. 

So right off the bat, we have MUGSHOTS- something that I love.  And moreover, MUGSHOTS of people who I may know (and YES, I did see one person I knew in The Slammer- a guy from High School who will remain nameless).   

Now I know this may be hard to believe, but it gets even better.  The people who publish The Slammer are hilarious, so it is really (REALLY) entertaining to read!  They have sections of mugshots called things like "Smiles & Tears" (people smiling and crying- smiling is especially hilarious), "Slammer Salon" (people with the worst hair), "Faux Hawks" (self explanatory), and "Man or Woman" (where you guess if the mugshot is that of a man or a woman, and I actually might have the name wrong on that one- Katie took the magazine back).  They even have sections where they recount details of stupid crimes.  The writing is  dry, sarcastic, hysterical, and GENIUS!

How did I  not know about The Slammer before?!  My life seemed to be lacking of something, but now the void is full.  Your life can be complete too.  You can experience the same happiness that I felt tonight, as my fingers flipped through the dusty pages, for just $1.   You can buy it at select convenience stores.   Katie got hers at the Citgo by Frat Court. 

Here is their website.

I'm a star!

Last night, I was out on Glenwood South.  It was about 2:45 am, and our group was heading to the car (which was going to be driven by a designated driver).  All of a sudden, a homeless man (Walter) came up to me and said, "OH MY GOSH!  YOU'RE THAT GIRL FROM DAYS OF OUR LIVES!" 

"YES, I AM," I exclaimed back!   In the heat of the moment, I had decided to just go along with it.  I mean, nobody has ever said I looked like anybody famous, so when I actually was mistaken for a celeb, I had too seize the day and play the part!  After all, this could have been a once in a lifetime opportunity (for me AND Walter).

Sooo, Walter went on about how he loved the show.  And he even told me that I am a huge inspiration.  To which I replyed, "That's why I do what I do- for the fans!"  Then I gave him a hug and some money.  I mean, if he thought I was famous, I HAD to give him money.   Otherwise, he'd think I was hoarding all that money I make on Days of Our Lives.  So, ole' Walter was star struck.  I don't know which person from the show he thought I was.  He told me, but I don't remember because I don't watch it.  I've actually never seen that show.  To be honest, he may have said One Life to Live?  They all sound the same to me.   

Anyways, I thought it was pretty funny.  Maybe it's one of these?  What do you think?

Allison Sweeney?
















Ashley Benson?



















Martha Madison?



















Melissa Reeves?

















Hmmm.  From the pictures of Days of Our Lives options, it seems like Walter must think I'm pretty old!   For more options click here!

PS For all the parents reading- I was in a large group of people when this happened with lots of girls' husbands there to protect me.   : )

Yeah, this is random.

This might be really weird (or lame...or dorky), but I LOVE to watch this little video about Yahoo the dog!  I have never met Yahoo.  I have no idea where he/she is in the world.  I just happened to find it one day, and it made me so happy!  I just love Shih Tzus!  In fact, I think this video is what inspired me to get Tyra. 

So anyway, this video always puts a smile on my face.  I dedicate this to anybody who is feeling blue or stressed out today.  Your day is about to get better!  Here it is, the wonder that is YAHOO!

Daily Dagger #9: Because uncomfortable moments can be like daggers to the heart!

I was delivering a package, and noticed that the secretary had a very colorful wrist-pad at her computer.  A wrist-pad is one of those gel things that you lay in front of the keypad so your wrists can rest (hence the clever name) and not get Carpel Tunnel or whatever.  I wanted to comment on it, but in the heat of the moment, the word wrist pad escaped me.  The following ensued:

Me: Hello!  I have a package for Joe Smith.
Secretary:  Ok, I can sign for that.  [begins to sign]
Me: [looks around] Oh wow, that's a neat little thing over there. 
Secretary: [looks toward computer] What thing?
Me: [points toward brightly colored, patterned wrist-pad] That thing.  I can't think of what it's called.  I've never seen one all cute like that.  Gosh, what is it called?
Secretary: [clearly confused] Ummm....a workspace?
Me: Ha-ha!  No!  That wrist thing.
Secretary: Oh! Ha-ha!  I was about to say...

Did you have an awkward moment?  Email it to me, and it could be tomorrow's Daily Dagger!

Rich Prosecco

Ever since I heard about it, I have desperately wanted to try the sparkling wine in a can that Paris Hilton is endorsing.  It is called Rich Prosecco.  She started promoting it forever ago, and I have yet to see it at the store.  I love champagne (OK, sparkling wine if we're being technical), but I HATE popping the cork!  The noise startles me, and I'm afraid it's going to shoot me in the face.  SOOOO, it seems obvious that the sparkling wine in a can would be the perfect choice for me.  Plus, I don't think it is that expensive. 

Anyway, I have been distraught (as you can probably imagine) since I've not been able to find the object of my desire.  So today, I took initiative and emailed Rich Prosecco to get find out when I would finally be able to buy the stuff!   I received an email back in a timely fashion (great customer service).  And because I know that inquiring minds want to know, here is what it said:

Dear Mary,

You will LOVE RICH® PROSECCO. We are going to launch in fall in NC.

Unfortunately you cant buy it online,

Best,

Wolfgang

I'm so excited!  Wolfgang says I will love it.   I'm sure he's right!  I can't wait to try it.  My eyes are going to be peeled in the grocery stores come September!  Who's with me?! 

Peter Mcalister, The Father...

I think the clip speaks for itself!

The best OC moment ever!

I've been missing my beloved OC, and if you're any normal person, I'm sure you are too!  Why did they have to kill off Marissa and make the show suck.  Seriously, the fourth season was the worst!  I didn't even watch the last episode.  But I LOVED LOVED LOVED seasons 1, 2, and 3.  Sooooo, here are some highlights!

THIS is the best OC moment ever!  It's when Ryan runs up the stairs at Oliver's hotel just in time to kiss Marissa at midnight on New Years Eve.  It is over-dramatization to the fullest, and I'm LOVING it! OhMyGosh, I just watched it and got GOOSEBUMPS!

And just for fun, here is a scene the ladies will love.  It's Marissa and Volchok (or Kevin as I like to call him) hooking up.  I always liked Ryan until Volchok came along.  I looked him up on IMDB, and he is still looking hot!  This clip starts off all messed up, but DON'T WORRY!  The blurry junk goes away right in time for the good stuff!

Judging for these two clips, Marissa sure gets around!  Anyways, I guess I'm just YouTube crazy today!

Hilarious Maury Povich!

This video might be one of my favorite YouTube finds ever! Amy, Katie and I stumbled upon it one day. YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT! It is long, but forward to 3:33 to get the REALLY good stuff!

Dr. Rashid & The Ear Wax!

I went swimming over the weekend, and water got stuck in my ear.  It was in there all day yesterday and all night and all this morning.  I tried everything to get it out.  I tried ear drops, blow drying my ear with the hairdryer, jumping up and down, sticking a Q-tip in it, and hitting the side of my head.  I figured my last option was to go to a doctor.  I just had to do something.  I could hardly hear out of my right ear, and it was all very irritating!

So I decided to go to the doctor.  I don't have a doctor, but I desperately wanted to get the H2O out.  I ended up just selecting a random doctor off my insurance plan's website.  I called an office that was close by and got an appointment with Dr. Rashid.  I called at 8:30, and I got an appointment for 11.  How fast! 

So anyways, Dr. Rashid said that the water was blocked in my ear by a BALL OF WAX!  SICK, I KNOW!  So he got the nurse to shoot waves of water and hydrogen peroxide into my ear with a syringe.  It was so crazy.  It felt like a wave going into my ear canal, and it sounded like one too.  There was a lot of pressure in the ear hole during the procedure.  Then all of a sudden, the ball of wax shot out and every bit of discomfort was relieved!  It was amazing- a really great feeling.  I know that is gross, but I was so impressed.  Now my ear feels clearer than it EVER has!  Actually, I think the left ear feels a little clogged compared to the right one now.  I tried to convince Dr. Rashid to let the nurse bust out the other ear too, but he insisted that it looked fine.  I feel like a new woman!  If you need a doc in the area, hit up Dr. Rashid! 

Sex and the City: The Movie (May contain spoilers!)

Of course, I am one of those girls who got tickets in advance for the Sex and the City premier.   I was really excited to see it.  I LOVE SATC,but the movie was not great.  This is just my opinion.  I know a lot of other people loved it.

There were only a handful of funny moments.  And for the most part, I felt like I was laughing just because everybody else was (I feel like such a follower).  Plus, I had prepared for some tears to be shed.  I was in the right mind frame for a real good cry...but none came.  Nothing in the movie touched me to the point of tears. 

The movie seemed a little long, but it did manage to keep my attention. Miranda's character was a real pill.  I wanted to punch her for most of the movie.  Jennifer Hudson plays Carrie's personal assistant, and her acting was not very good.  She seemed totally corny...very Saved by the Bell. 

I do love Samantha though.  She'll always make me laugh.  In my opinion, she was the saving grace of the movie.  Although, she was living in LA- and that just seemed kind of weird to me.  Oh yeah, and she had a dog (that wasn't very cute) and they never even told what the dog's name was (unless I missed that)...it just humped everything.  But otherwise, she made some hilarious comments. 

I know my blog is supposed to be positive, but I was just so excited for the movie.  I feel a little let down.  I just thought I should at least write about it.  Maybe I just need to watch it again.  Maybe it will grow on me.  I hope so. Oh and I heard that they're already talking about making a sequel. 

Rating: MMM (3 out of 5 Ms)