Okay. So I was on a very crowded elevator at the courthouse. I squeezed myself into the corner. A man and a woman were standing on opposite sides of me. I have drawn up a diagram of our standing arrangement:
Now of course, you have to imagine about twelve other people crammed in there with us. But as you might be able to see, the awkwardness of the ride began before our conversation even started. It's a bit hard to tell from the picture, but they were on my sides with their hands clasped in front of me. They were not well infront of me, holding hands side by side. Their hands were right in front of my crotch. Had I move an inch forward, I'd have gotten to second base. By the way, what's up with couples who can't even quit holding hands for ONE second?! Even when they're about to make contact with strange crotch!?
Oh well. So that is the set up. Here is the very awkward conversation:
Lady: You're cornered back there.
Me: Yeah. That's okay though. I always get in the corner.
Lady: Just don't start crying.
Me: Yeah...[ponders previous statement, mind is boggled by why I would start crying]...[a few seconds pass].....OH! I get it. Like Dirty Dancing!
Lady: [truly bewildered] HUH?!
Me: Like, nobody puts baby in a corner...oh wait, err no...that's not right. I'm an idiot.
Lady: I'm an idiot too, but good movie...
By the end of the conversation my face was beet red. On top of just sounding like a loon, I let the lady know that I had no idea what she was talking about with the crying. In fact, I still don't. Oh well. I guess I'll never know.
Did you have an uncomfortable moment? Email me, and it could be tomorrow's Daily Dagger.
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