My sister and I were driving home from South Point Mall on I-40. Coasting along next to us was a black Chevrolet Aveo with FL tags. Inside was a normal looking man. He was probably in his late 20s with a slim build and black gelled hair. He was wearing sleek sunglasses and a slippery looking black zip up jacket. He kind of reminded me of Neo in The Matrix.
So we were just driving away, minding our own business, when something caught KT's eye. "What is that guy doing?" She asked. "Are those thongs?"
I turned to look, and she was right. The man had a handful of multicolored G-strings in his fist. He was driving with his wrists, and shifting through the panties. It appeared that he was counting them.
"Well, that's weird," I said.
"Yeah."
We drove on some more.
"OHMIGOD, Mary!" KT shouted. "NOW HE HAS A DILDO!"
I looked over, and sure enough, the man was holding an average sized Caucasian rubber schlong. Before I could shake off my shock, the guy flings the white peen onto the passenger seat and grabs a VERY large African American model; this one was complete with balls.
At this point we were driving erratically (no longer minding our own business) trying to see what this guy was going to do next. Well we were in for a treat, because next he stuck the giant black d*ck in his MOUTH! Yes in the pie-hole the member went.
We were in shock! What in the world?! This average looking guy was just driving down 40 sticking man-made genitalia in his mouth. Now I've seen it all! I really don't know how I see so many weird things all the time. I'm a magnet for weirdos.
So then we regained our composure, and the man exited on Harrison Ave. Maybe he was making a porno at The Umstead Hotel? Or maybe he was just making a pit stop at the ChickFila. I have no idea.
XOXO Cliff Pant-one
