Cliff Pant-one

Life's Little Riddles: Who Goes to Subway for a Bag of Green Peppers

Katie and I went to Subway tonight.  You know, we thought a nice veggie delight sub would be just perfect after our power walk. 

So we were standing in line, and some guy comes in.  "You can go ahead of us," she told him. 

To that he says, "Oh cool.  I'm just getting some green peppers anyways."

We gave said guy a sideways glance as he scooted forward and requested a bag of peps. The sandwich artist dutifully filled a cookie bag with the peppers. 

Then when he got to the register, the cashier/owner or manager was like, "That will be $1 (I'm not sure that is the right amount, but something like that)."

The guy goes, "Oh really?  Well, I don't have any money.  I've gotten these here like twice before and never had to pay."

"Well you pay now!"

"Alright, let me go out to my car."

So the guy goes out to scamper up some change, and the owner starts muttering under his breath about how annoying it is to always be giving that guy peppers. 

Guy comes back in, pays for the peps, and leaves.

Now WHY was he buying peppers?  Here are some possibilities:
-He worked at a restaurant near by that had run out of peppers.
-He was using them to get high some how.
-He was making stir-fry at home and had all the ingredients but green peppers.
-He forgot to buy peppers at the store, and he remembered right when he was passing Subway. 
-He is poor and thought that peppers were free, so he figured he could only afford to eat free Subway peppers.

Now those may seem like valid reasons, but for most of them, it would make more sense just to get peppers at Kroger, which is the next block over.  Plus, what are the odds that some of those would happen 3 times (cause he said he went twice before).  I mean, a cookie bag full of peppers would not be sufficient to feed a nights worth of clientele at most restaurants, plus this guy was not wearing a restaurant uniform (he was dressed in a patterned black hoodie and baggie jeans while he wore his hair in a side swept emo style).  I am genuinely stumped.  Please let me know if you have any theories!!

Cliff's Most Fascinating People: Aaron Carter

I have been watching House of Carters all day long...well not really all day long, but for a good portion of it...  Anyhow, I've realized that Aaron Carter is an amazingly fascinating person.  If you have not seen this show, please check it out on Itunes ASAP. 

Why is Aaron so worthy of the list?! 

1. He's intense.  Aaron is prone to bouts of severe emotion.  Whether he is talking about how big his heart is (so big that he's been gripping it, feeling how hard it is beating) or having deep conversations about how wise Nick is, he's always very in touch with his emotions.  He really does have a big heart. 

2. He wants lots of sex.  At one point, he yells at his family, saying that he wants to have sex because he's very sexually frustrated since he hasn't had any sex for a year and all his siblings have been having a lot of sex.
3. He's an amazing dancer.  I will be following this post with a clip of Aaron's moves.
4. He looks like a blonde version of Tommy Lee.  He's a bit weathered for such a young man.  He has the look of a recovering addict, but he works it in a good way.
5. He's never wearing a shirt.
6. He gets drunk and acts a fool at the grocery store.
7. He barks at Nick in the midst of a fight.
8. He's a family man.


After watching him for hours upon end, I've realized that I want to be his girlfriend.  I don't really care if I'm a bit older.  If anybody reading this knows Aaron, please give him my contact info. 

Let's take some time to review a few Aaron quotes (a lot of them are funnier in context, which is why you need to purchase the epps on Itunes)...

• "I want to go back and have sex , 'cause it's been a year since I fucking had any sex, and you guys are all having are having LOTS of sex, and I am very sexualy frusturated!"

I'm actually having a hard time with my video player, so let's just let some clips speak for themselves.  Either way, just know this: I think Aaron Carter is a genius...BEST SHOW EVER.

My dog woke me up at 5:30, so I filled this out.

45 ODD Things about you!

If you opened this, copy it and paste it into your own note - FILL IT OUT!!! Learn 45 things about your friends, and let them learn 45 things about you!

1. Do you like blue cheese? YES! I just recently developed a love for the blue cheese!

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Hardcore people shoot it- duh.

3. Do you own a gun? no

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Starbucks? vanilla or almond or pumpkin spice or peppermint...lots

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Fake hotdogs are the bees knees

7. Favorite Christmas movie? Love Actually

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Diet Dr Pepper or Diet Pepsi

9. Can you do push ups? Yeah, I'm doing them every night to tone my pectorials

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My Mom's engagement ring

11. Favorite hobby? writing, reading, shopping

13. What's one trait you hate about yourself? i don't hate anything about myself. maybe that i fall down a lot though and run into things...no! I like that. It's so endearing.

14. Middle name? Douglas

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment: 1. Why did Tyra wake me up at 530 am and now i'm not tired at all?! 2. I want special k....RELAX, I meant the cereal! 3. I don't want to go to work.

16. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: Beer, cheese fries, subway...I'm on an all carb diet!

17. Name 3 things you drink daily: diet soda, water, saliva

18. Current worry? don't worry

19. Current Dislike? Winter

20. How did you bring in the New Year? with dick clark

21. Where would you like to go? The mountains

22. Name three people who will complete this? nobody

23. Do you own slippers? yeah, but i never wear them

24. What shirt are you wearing? wife beater

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? no i do not!

26. Favorite color? blue

27. Could you be a pirate? I don't think they'd want me to be a pirate.

28. What songs do you sing in the shower? Whatever is on the ipod, and if the ipod is not on, I try not to sing. Most people in the apt do not appreciate my acapella.

29. Favorite food? hummus, burritos, pizza and broccoli and asparagus and rice...oh so many!

30. What's in your pocket right now? No pockets

31. Last thing that made you laugh? The Killers "On Top" (you would have to be there)

32. Favorite sheets? pink rosebud sheets. oh they make me so happy

33. Worst injury you have ever had?when i broke my cuboid bone on the foot dancing

34. Do you love where you live? yeah, but i'm movvvinnggg soon

35. How many TVs do you have in your house? 2 but one is in my roomates room so i do not get to enjoy that TV

36. Who is your loudest friend? All of them...it's great when we're together...very loud

37. How many dogs do you have? 1

38. Does someone have a crush on you? Not that i know of

39. What is your favorite book(s): too many to list

40. What is your favorite candy? Hot Tamales!

41. Favorite Sports Team? I hate sports, but I was actually getting into the State game tonight. Too bad we lost.

42. What songs do you want sung at your funeral? Not any Fergie songs.

43. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping until Tyra woke me up.

44. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? TYRA IS ON MY FACE

45. Favorite place to be? Anywhere fun.

Wife Swap's Taco Mama

This is what the information box on the cable guide said about an episode of Wife Swap:

"A perfectionist trades places with a woman who feeds her family takeout tacos."

I think it's great that when the writers could only pick one little trait about the woman to list on the guide, they picked that she feeds her family takeout tacos. 

It seems like a funny thing to point out, but the tacos really did play a big role in the woman's life.  When time for the rule change came, the new mother declared, "Let's not slave over dinner and work like a machine to clean it up!  This week we'll eat nothing but takeout tacos!"  The new family did not seem thrilled.

Oh, Wife Swap!  You can't make this stuff up.

(Taco Mama is on far right.)

Does Duncan on The City Look VAGUELY Familiar?

Whenever Erin's long-distance beau, Duncan, makes an appearance on "The City," I get the feeling that this chap is a chap I've seen before.  Here are some photos of Dunan:

So there he is, a right good looking fellow if I do say so myself.  Anyways, for some reason, all I can think of when I see him is this:

Yeah!  Charles Manson, cult leader responsible for a string of unthinkably cruel murders. 

But then when I thought about it more (I wasted A LOT of my time thinking about this), I thought maybe Duncan looked like this:

The late Chris Mccandless, of whom the book and movie Into The Wild are based upon.  (And PS: you can really see how think Mccandless got in pic numero uno!)

Upon close inspection, Duncan doesn't really RESEMBLE either of these characters.  I mean, MAYBE they could pass as relatives.  But I guess all of this does say one thing: Duncan has an unkempt loony-eyed mountain man look to him, and I kind of like it!

PS: If they ever put up the screencaps from LAST night, I will update this blog!  Duncan wore a toboggan, and it proves my point further.

A Horse With Shoes?! Stop Trippin'!

One day when I was in high school, my friend and I were eating a meal at Lucky 32. I'm fairly sure we ordered the "Lucky Club," because that is what we always ordered. It was delish. Too bad they changed the menu and closed the location most convenient to me...and too bad I also don't eat meat anymore, so I wouldn't be able to ENJOY the LC now anyway...

BACK TO THE ANECDOTE!

So we were eating, and all of a sudden my friend got really wide eyed and goes, "Oh my god! There's a horse with shoes on!"

At the time, we were young, dumb high school kids who had recently been experimenting with "ways to expand our minds." I thought she was having some sort of a flashback, and she was freaking me out. I refused to turn around and look at this mirage she was "seeing." "Stop it," I shushed! "People are going to hear you and think you're crazy!"

"No, I'm serious. There's a horse with shoes on. A tiny horse!" Reluctantly, I turned around. This is what I saw:
(note: this is not the actual horse I saw, nor is it the location in which I saw it)

So yes, there it was: a horse with shoes on!  Of course, it is a seeing eye horse, but I had never seen one before (and come to think of it, never again either). 

The thought of seeing eye ponies brings a few thoughts to mind.

1. Why would people use a seeing eye horse instead of just using a seeing eye dog?
2. Why does the horse wear shoes?  And in the pic above, it looks like the shoes are only covering half of his "feet."
3. Why is the horse so small?
4. Where can I get one?!

It seems to me, these SEHs would be as much of a curse as a blessing.  I'm sure the seeing-impaired owner of the SEH is not able to go anywhere without attracting a crowd along with a load of questions and a bunch of annoying toddlers wanting to pet the pony!   

Here's some info from The Guide Horse Foundation about who makes an ideal candidate for a guide horse:

• Horse lovers - Blind people who have grown up with horses and understand equine behavior and care are ideal candidates.
  
• Allergenic people - Many people who are severely allergic to traditional guide animals and find horses a non-allergenic alternative for mobility.
  
• Mature Individuals - Many people report difficulty dealing with the grief of losing their animals, and  horses tend to live far longer than traditional guides. 
  
• Physically Disabled folks - Because of their docile nature, Guide Horses are easier to handle for individuals with physical disabilities. They are also strong enough to provide support, helping the handler to rise from their chair. 
  
• Dog Phobia - Individuals who fear dogs are often comfortable working with a tiny horse.
  
• Outdoor Animal - Many individuals prefer a guide animal that does not have to live in the house when off duty.

So there you have it!  If you're ever out in public and see one of these cute little horses, do not fear that you've become victim to the long term effects of psychedelic drug experimentation!  It's just a guide horse!

A Cyber Valentine to All My Readers: I LOVE YOU!!!

 

I took this photo so you would all know that I LOVE YOU!!!  Have a marvelous VD tomorrow!!!

Misty Water Colored Memories: The Torkelsons

Do you remember The Torkelsons?!  I do!  It was a brilliant show about this woman, Millicent Torkelson, raising her five children in the small town of Pyramid Corners, Oklaholma.  Millicent has a lot of financial woes, which she struggles with throughout the show.  The money problem gets so bad, they have to get a boarder to live in their basement, whom they refer to him as "Boarder Hodges..." because his name is Wesley Hodges. And by the way, I always find it odd when people refer to one another as whatever they are followed by their name.  For example: Widow Jenkins (Buttercream Gang reference) or Cousin Dick (Full House reference). I would hate to be singled out as "Courier Mary" or "Daughter Mary."

Either way the show was tops!  One of the best of it's time.

All the kids had double names: Dorothy Jane, Steven Floyd, Ruth Ann, Chuckie Lee and Mary Sue (that's also the order of their ages from oldest to youngest...how do you like them apples!?).  Dorothy Jane was a whimsical teenager who frequently sat on her widow seat and conversed with "the man in the moon."  As a kid, I thought she was so cool for having a window seat.  I wanted a window seat more than anything.  So much so that I tried to craft one by setting up my toy chest in front of a window and putting a bunch of pillows on it.  It was not the most comfy.  So when that didn't work, I tried to climb onto a shelf that was built into the wall underneath this window that we had in a little alcove.  I didn't fit, and I most likely did a bit of damage to the shelf.

Anyways, I digress!  Dorothy Jane was the kid they focused most on.  The rest were kind of secondary and annoying.

One eppisode I remember really well was when Dorothy Jane was trying to get advice from the most popular girl in school, Callie Kimbro.  Callie's advice to DJ was something like this, "Just be confident.  Say to yourself, 'I'm better than everybody else.  I'm the homecoming queen."  You have to imagine that being said in a very many southern voice (because Callie was cursed with a deep voice).  Me and Kitty still quote her on this.  Hey!  It's good advice!

Oh!  I did some IMDBing, and it looks like everybody in the cast has a pretty long acting resume (Ruth Anne's was the shortest). 

Anyways, it's a great show.  If you didn't ever get a chance to see it, here's a clip:

Blink 182 is BACK!

I can hardly stand it!  I love my Mark, Tom and Travis! 

Frozen in Time: Angry Bystander Caught!

Here we are whooping it up at a bar.  I don't know who this girl is or how she got in the picture!  But she does not seem pleased.  Perhaps she's an angry drunk who had one too many mai tais. 

Life's Little Riddles: What is Raleigh's Sister City?

This is a sign that I see quite often.  It's right off Hillsborough St, behind the Brugger's parking lot.  As you can see, it says "Compiegne, France - Raleigh's Sister City." 

Now, I don't know much about Compiegne, France...alright let's be honest, I know NOTHING about it.  But I just don't understand why our sister city would be some place in France.  This makes no sense to me.  Wouldn't raleigh be better suited to be sisters with a place such as Scottsdale or Savannah?  Some place in the US?  And if Compiegne really is our "sister," why did they pick this tiny park behind Planet Smoothie to advertise it?  Many a Raleigh folk could go through their entire lives never knowing about our "kin" overseas.  How sad is that?

Let's see.  According to Wikipedia, Compiegne is in the northern part of France.  In 1999, the population was 41,076.  That is about it.  If you want to find more information on our French relative, go to this site.  And if you have any information on why this is our Sister City, please let me know!

If Only...

If only Cliff had compiled his/her list of the hottest reality TV personalities just a month later, these two would have been included.

Allie Crandell from The City

Tommy Houlihan from Tool Academy

Tommy (aka "Slacker Tool") did not have the most extensive photo album...but trust me, he is hot.)

...just sayin'...