Cliff Pant-one

Sorry for the lack of posting!

I've been moving, and my internet is yet to be set up.  I am also battling laryngitis.  It's quite annoying!  I'll get back into the swing of things soon!

What Do You Call A Pacifier?

 

As you read further, you will see that a lot has been weighing on my mind this morning.  I've been thinking about pacifiers (like the one pictured above).  There are so many different names for them.  WHY?!  IT'S PANDEMONIUM!!!

I have always called the above a binky.  To some people, it's a paci.  Now paci (pronounced PASS-EY) sounds creepy to me.  Maybe my mind is in the gutter, but I don't like that word.  I'm sticking with binky.

Some people call it a bo-bo or a nu-nu.  Why?  I'm not sure.  Maybe their kids aren't advanced enough to have perfectly polished their pronunciation of 'pacifier,' 'binky' or 'paci' (the 'c' sound can be hard some times).  My guess is that parents who call pacifiers anything besides 'binky'or 'paci' are real overachiever types.  Maybe they like to think of themselves as real creative or leaders rather than followers.  They're the type that fancy themselves on "straying from the crowd."   They don't want to call the pacifier some typical name.  They want to call it a do-do or a loo-ha or a hee-haw.  They are the same people who would never settle for calling grandparents Grams or Gramps.  Forget about Gramma and Grandpa.  They might even resist Me-Maw and Pe-Paw (which I don't really blame them). 

Either way, I just wanted to write this out to reflect on the names of pacifiers.  Maybe I've shed some light on the subject?

Life's Little Riddles: Are reality stars telling us their real ages?!

I love reality TV, but sometimes I feel like the stars of the show look so much older than their real ages.  Sometimes I'll look it up on the Internet and be like "WHAT?!  HUH?!" (think Britney Spears in her infamous YouTube video- the one in which she finds out that Spun has already come out on DVD). 

Soooo, I'd like to go over some reality stars who, I believe, are fudging the truth about their ages.  And I'm not saying they are for sure!  I'm just trying to figure out if they are liars or if the TV just makes people look old.  Okay, let's get started!

#1: Ashley from Rock of Love Bus, My ESTIMATED age: 25  

REAL age: 22

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ashley.  I think she is hilarious (and pretty)!  BUT, I just didn't think she was 22.  I'm 24, and I thought she would at least be my age.  I was just surprised. 

#2Tommy from Tool Academy: My ESTIMATED age: 26

 

REAL Age: 23

I love Tommy.  I think he is really hot, even if he is kind of a dingbat.  And he seemed like a sweet guy until the reunion. But I just never imagined him as 23.  If I saw him at a bar, I would def think he was older than me.  But I would be mistaken. Hmm.

Leslie from House of Carters: My ESTIMATED age (at time of the show): 24

REAL Age (at time of the show): 19

Yet ANOTHER of my favorite shows.  I just wouldn't have guessed in a million years that she was 19 on the show.  She is 22 now, and that is even younger than I would have guessed.  I am really just baffled.  This photo was taken at the time of taping.  I couldn't find a good screen cap to show what she looked like on the show, but this is a really good picture of her.  I'm starting to conclude that the TV just ages you.

#4 McKey from America's Next Top Model: My ESTIMATED age: 25

 

REAL age (at time of the show & this photo): 19

Now, I suspect that McKey looking old had a lot to do with the "make-over" Tyra gave her.   If that isn't a mom haircut, I don't know what is.

So what do you think?  In addition to 10 lbs, does the camera add on a few years?!  I KNOW that there are other reality stars that I've thought look older than they really are, but it's hard to think of them on demand.  I'll be wracking my brain- don't you worry - and

if

when I think of them, I'll add!!

Post Secret @ Duke University

Last night, Meg and I went to see a presentation given by Post Secret creator Frank Warren.  For those of you who don't know about Post Secret, it is a project where people send their secrets to Frank on postcards.  The secret has to be something that you've never told anybody.  Most people decorate their cards with detailed artwork.  The postcards are displayed on the Post Secret blog, in books and in art exhibits.

Anyways, the presentation was very good.  Frank was an amazing speaker.  He had the voice of a man of the theater!  He was witty and eloquent!  He told about the history of Post Secret, shared "secret secrets," and then opened up the audience to share secrets of their own.  I was pretty surprised at how many people actually volunteered to share such personal stories with an auditorium full of strangers.  I will not tell any of their secrets, because they are secrets...duh.

Soooooooo.  It was a pretty good event.  I'm really glad I went, because whenever I read Frank's blog and see the list of tour dates at the bottom, I always wonder what attending one would be like.  I recommend going if one ever comes to you.

Now that that is out of the way, I have a word of advise to anybody who might be attending a performance at Duke University's Page Auditorium: do not sit on the balcony.  There is less leg room than an airplane.  There is less leg room than at a football game.  There is less leg room than you would have if you were sitting in a cardboard box.  My feet were falling asleep the entire time.  Those crazy Dukies!  They must have designed the auditorium in the olden days, back when people were not eating growth hormones in their McDonald's, making the average human much smaller.

So yes!  The night was a success!  It made me want to send in a secret, but have such a big mouth that I don't have any.  Great!

"Most Annoying Person on Reality TV" Title Handed Down to Aliea

Cliff Pant-one will be handing down the title of "Most Annoying Person on Reality TV" from Lacey of Rock of Love to Aliea from The Bad Girls Club.  Here's why:

Aliea thinks that she is a "bad girl."  All she is is an insecure hypocrite who talks trash to get everybody rilled up.  She would never hold her own in a fight.  She is always threating to kick Amber's ass, but the one time she ever did anything, she kicked Amber in the stomach when other people were holding her down.  Not very hardcore.   The only time she can hurt somebody is when they're totally defenseless?  She could have fought Amber when she was on the patio in LA, when she was flinging lawn tables all around?  But no.  She waited until Amber was curled in a ball on the ground and kicked her in the stomach so many times that she bruised her foot.  That is MESSED up!

Then the next day, she (along with others) gloated about it.  She said stuff like, "Amber can't handle it.  She's probably never been jumped before."  Have you been jumped Aleia?  Sorry, if you have, but it's not just a normal thing that happens.  It's probably pretty hard to deal with.  If YOU got jumped, I'm willing to bet that you'd be reacting even worse than Amber. Especially if hardly anybody was on your side, and it was 2 against 5.

On top of the fighting situation, Aliea:

• Talks baby talk
• Does things like stand on the table looking at her flowers, thinking she is adorable
• Wear suspenders and tall socks
• Is a total hypocrite, because she talks shit all day long and then gets INSANE about people talking shit.  She actually just gets insane for no reason.  Somebody will be mad, and then she's just eggs them on.  Then she trys to turn everybody against weak targets.
• She cheats on her boyfriend
• She cried about going Speed Dating because she is insecure and wants attention and for people to ask her what is wrong (just like she accused Amber of doing after being JUMPED, which is a lot more serious than SPEED DATING)

I really could go on all day.  Aliea is the most annoying person on TV, period.  I don't know if anybody will ever be able to steal her crown.  But this is actually a serious issue.  Aliea has some real problems if she treats people the way she does, sceming and manipulating because of her own weakness and insecurity.  So she really needs help.  And apparently she has already been in a mental hospital, so I'm guessing she knows that something she is doing is not right.

Also, young girls who are watching this need to know that it is NEVER okay to fight.  Most all of these girls are weak people who are letting anger get the best of them.  They never make any sense when they're talking.  They are total followers.  And JUMPING people is especially never okay!  It kind of makes me mad that they would show something like that on reality TV, but I guess they can show whatever they want.  I just feel like this is going to make teenage girls think that it's okay to be catty, bitchy, manipulative, constantly drunk, irrational, immature, aggressive, explosive, and all the other things that The Bad Girls are.   

Spotted: A Mother on Fayetteville St.

I was downtown on a run today, minding my own business, and I saw something that made me really hot (hot in a bad way)! 

There was a mother a three children.  Two of the children were about six years old and the other was an infant.  I'm not very good with guessing children's ages, but I'd say this infant was under nine months.  She was smaller than my 8 lb Shih Tzu.

So the mother is walking down the hard, bumpy CONCRETE sidewalk with the INFANT on her shoulders.  The child is propped up there with the mother only holding her by the tiny tiny thighs.  The baby isn't even hanging on, her arms flailing around in the air.  This child is so small, that it isn't even able to hold itself up. She keeps FALLING backward so that her HEAD is touching the mother's BACK!!!  And one of the six year olds, runs over laughing to push her up every time this happens.  The whole lot of them is just snickering, smiling, carrying on, thinking it is so cute that the baby is on the mother's shoulders flapping around like a bird on a gusty day.

I could not believe it.  I was on a part of the sidewalk block with a lot of construction going on, so there weren't a lot of people witnessing this.  I started to walk faster, because I wanted to be behind them if the baby suddenly fell from the tower of her mother's shoulders.  Then the baby kept totteling backwards, and it was making me so angry that I wanted to go up and say something to the mom (and I feel it is appropriate to mention that her six year olds were wandering around a very large office building with many many floors alone, trying to figure out where they were, saying "I'm scared" just minutes before). 

The gaggle of merry wackos kept up a good pace, even crossing traffic with the baby flying high above them all.  When I went into the courthouse, they were coming up on a busier block with a police officer and a "city ambassador" (whom I have a love/hate relationship with) standing by, and I wonder if anybody said anything to her.

Parenting is just such a touchy subject.  I never know when it's appropriate to say something.  I mean, I'm not a parent and I've never babysat (or even HELD a baby).  Do people normally do this with infants?  I don't know!  It doesn't seem right to me though.  Ugh, it just makes me sick to think of what other careless things she's doing.  I hope everything is okay!

Spotted: Total Douche at Biltmore Estate

I'm in Asheville this weekend with two of my girlfriends.  Today we went to see The Biltmore Estate.  Well, you kind of wander though the house on a self-guided tour, and the hugest douche-bag was behind us.  He was a complete redneck idiot- the kind of person that is why stereotypes are created. 

Now, it is pretty quiet in the house.  It's like a museum, everybody looking at the stuff and listening to their headphone tour thingies.  Well, this tour guide lady (who was really young and pretty) was coming down a narrow hallway, and she was asking everybody to scoot over so the tour group could squeeze through.  So when the guide walked past said man, the guy SCREAMS "HEY NOW, QUIT PINCHING MY ASS, LADY!   YOU ARE SOOOO FORWARD!!!"  Everybody turns to look at him, kind of like who is this tool and he's like "AHAHAHAHAH."  Then he grabs his friend and pushes his way into the tour group line, and tries to go in the blocked off area with them. He's shoving everybody around in this really tight space, knocking into us and laughing like he just the biggest riot ever. He keeps saying, "HEY WE'RE IN THE TOUR WE'RE PART OF THE TOUR.  HUCK HUCK LET'S GO ON THE ROOF!"

The guide was being so nice to him, but it was obvious that she wanted to strangle him.  She was just like, "Sorry, Sir.  The tour is full, but you can sign up for another one in the lobby."

And then he probably mentioned her "pinching his ass" again.  So at that point, the only people amused are his family members.  Everybody else is giving him the death stare.  So he comes up to our group and gets all in our face and says, "WHERE IS THE HAPPINESS IN THIS FAMILY!?!?!  LIGHTEN UP WAH WAH!"  We just stared at him like he was a fool. 

The girl in front of us turned around and said, "What an idiot!  Looks like somebody toured the winery before this!"

Rock of Love Bus: Ashley Attempts to Drunk-Eat Lean Cuisine Stuffed Cabbage

Last night's Rock of Love Bus included the best moment of the season thus far.  This moment went like this:

Ashely had way too much to drink at Bret's show, and she came back to the bus wanting a little something to eat.  Drunk eating is common among women- we all do it.  So Ashley decides to make a Lean Cuisine Stuffed Cabbage with Whipped Potatoes meal. 

The scene opens with her yelling "WHO LIKES BASILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!!?"  Then she falls over and drops the meal.  She then flings it at some other girl, and is like "HOW DO I MAKE THISSS - REMOVE TRAY AND CUT FOILLLLLLLL....BAUTCHHHH. (that is how she pronounces bitch)."  It is virtually impossible for me to describe how hilarious this is, so I'm going to have to direct you to a link.  Click here (and then click the video on the side that says "are we there yet? episode 7") to see the scene (it's actually an extended scene from the website, so you'll get to see even MORE of the amazing footage).

And while I'm on the subject of Ashley, does she remind anybody else of Juliette Lewis? 

And another point of interest: how is the stuffed cabbage?  Looking at the Lean Cuisine website, the meal is described as "stuffed cabbage filled with a delicious blend of roasted ground beef, rice and seasonings.  Topped with a chunky tomato sauce and served with a side of whipped potatoes."  I imagine that the cabbage would be really soggy and disguisting.  Maybe it's better Ash didn't get into the plastic film, because stuffed cabbage with chunky tomatos would NOT be fun coming up, if you get my drift.  BUT the meal only has 220 KCals, so it IS a healthy drunk eating choice...much more forgiving than the hunk of chocolate cake I ate that was basically as big as my head.  And one more point: the website does not mention ANYTHING about the stuffed cabbage containing basil, so I'm going to have to assume that Ashley is a dingbat (yes) or that she was reading something else in the cupbord that contained basil, and not wanting to eat baisl, she opted for the cabbage.  CASE CRACKED!

Enjoy your day!