Cliff Pant-one

Frozen in Time: Sandy Sleeper in Myrtle Beach

This guy cracked me up. 

Frozen in Time: Innocent bystanders CAPTURED!

 

This  submission features quite a few [not-so] innocent bystanders.  We have:

• Man in the back "brushing his shoulders off."  Although, he could be falling...
• Girl hunching over with her mouth open, and her friend (or maybe it's a frienemy...) who is attempting to photograph this.  Hopefully, THAT shot doesn't make it onto Facebook!
• Then we have a girl squatting down next to the photographer.  Maybe she's "dropping it like it's hot."  Or maybe she lost her contact lens!!!

So many gems in this photo!  Imagine how many YOU could be in!!  It's scary, right?

Submit bombed photos here!!!

Frozen in Time: Angry Bystander Caught!

Here we are whooping it up at a bar.  I don't know who this girl is or how she got in the picture!  But she does not seem pleased.  Perhaps she's an angry drunk who had one too many mai tais. 

Tyra's Electroshock Therapy!

Because it has been so cold, I got Tyra a new hoodie.  (By the way, I got it from a new locally owned store called Unleashed in the Lake Boone Shopping Center--- go there.)  So, I took her to the post office with me, and as soon as she got in the car, static electricity took over and every hair on her body stood up.  It was adorable.  I tried getting a picture, but Tyra hates the camera.  The only way I could get a decent shot was to get outside of the car and pretend like I was about to let her out (which I eventually did).  See for yourself:

This is absolutely what Sara Goldfarb would look like if she were a Shih Tzu.

I love my dog.

Frozen in Time: Best Moments of MY 2008 (month by month)

Because I know you all want to get a good hard look at these, you can click on all the photos to make them bigger!

January

 

     

This is when Katie and I visited Amy in New Orleans.  One of the best parts of our stay was when we dressed up as 80s hair band members and watched Rock of Love (and as the photo shows, we also watched Scott Baio is 45 and Pregnant).

February

 

 

I bought this sweet little ride in February.  It's a Subaru Impreza.  I bought it based on looks and safety, but it turns out that it's also some kind of race car and men are drawn to it.  They flock to me now (the men...).

March

 

 

I spent the entire month of March watching my roommate fret over Britney Spears' every move.  And in a bit of an Amy Winehouse inspired moment, I also did some frantic outdoor night exercises.

April:

April was the month that I finally saw Bret Michaels in person.  That is the moment I realized what all the fuss is about (with the girls on his show all falling in love with him).  He is one smooth talker!  The way he wooed the crowd!  Don't even get me started.  There were also tons of bitchy girls there in the audience who kept pushing me.  Then I got feisty and pushed back.  And then later on, I felt guilty about it. 

May:

 

In whatever month this is, Kitty and me went to the Kanye West/Rihanna concert.  At this concert, in an attempt to save money from buying drinks inside, I drank too much beer in the parking lot and in turn, was only tempted to keep drinking beer inside (where I met a 21 year old drifter wearing jean shorts, and let me say, I was quite taken by him), which led to me being too drunk to operate a car and having to take take a taxi home.

Also in this month, as you can see, I went to the beach with the prossies and got a tattoo. It's some real classly ink.  Okay...Relax! It's just a temp!

June:

 

June held almost too many fun moments, so I had to settle on one, or I would never be able to stop!  This is when Jen, Larry and I went to Waffle House.  I wasn't sure if Larry would want his face broadcasted over my internets, so I covered it up for him.  I'm not sure he'd handle the celeb status with as much grace as I have.  Either way, this trip to WH was tops!  Especially when I shouted the F word too loud, and some lady with her kids gave me the death stare, which in turn, encouraged us to leave pronto.  Later on, I felt like maybe I wasn't the bad guy in that situation.  I mean, anybody taking six year olds to WH is just asking for foul language...and a sprinkle of childhood obesity.

July:

 

I went to Las Vegas in July.  While there, I drank too much, and in turn, probably had the most fun of anybody in our group.  Although the drinking also resulted in me almost falling off a VIP booth and onto a glass table.  ALMOST! 

A LOT of other stuff happened in July too, but like in June, I had to narrow it down to one! Plus, this blog post is getting kind of long, and I need to take a shower!

 Actually, I do need to take a shower!  Now you will just have to wait in suspense for Best Moments of MY 2008 Part TWO!!!  Don't hold your breath! 

Have a safe New Year!

Misty Water Colored Memories: Amy is a Randy Bunny on the Loose

I'm having Bloggers' Block (it's a curse), and I can't think of anything to write about.  Even with Christmas going on, I'm stuck with a blank!  So, I dug up some old photos of a very fun time in my life. 

At some point in college, my best friend, Amy, (whom I'm mere hours away from seeing, because she is coming to town) selflessly volunteered to wear an Easter Bunny suit and pose for photos with people's pets at a local pet store.  I'm pretty sure it was for some charity...we could all do more service work!  

Well, Amy pleaded with the owners or renters of the bunny suit, and got them to allow her to borrow the costume for one extra hour. 

So, I'm sitting at my lovely house on Dixie Trail, and Amy plows into my drive way.  She was calling me on her cell phone.  "COME OUTSIDE," she said.  "I HAVE TO SHOW YOU THIS!!"

I waked outside, and she was grappling with the trunk.  As it lifted, I saw the giant bunny costume.  The possibilities were endless.  "We only have an hour," she said.

With Amy's great modeling/acting skills and my knack for master photography, this is what came of that hour:

This is "Peeping Amy Bunny" peering into our neighbor's window.
Not sure exactly what this one was portraying...
In this one, she is suggestively straddling a tiki torch.  Feel free to let your imagination run wild.
A close up to scare the children.

This one, in which we took to the streets, is my personal favorite. 

There are more photos from this day, which according to the file's folder was in March 05, but I cannot seem to locate them.  One such missing pic was what appeared to be Amy straddling a bench and "riding" it like a quarter horse.  I wish I could find that one. 

Spotted: Naked Girls at Stool Pigeons

Last night, I went to Stool Pigeons and there were girls walking around in their panties.  No bras!  Yeah! They were wearing "body art," but it wasn't even realistic, like when the girls at the Playboy Mansion wear body paint to look like clothes.  It was just like random blotches on their boobs.  I can't believe that they were allowed in the place like that.  I asked some guy about it, and I think he said his friend was a tattoo artist who does "body art," and they painted them for some other guy's birthday.  I'm not sure if that's accurate; I was pretty tipsy...

So, I'm sure you're all dying to see the naked ladies.  Feast your eyes on this:

   

I don't know who that guy is, but I think it's a great picture.  People were pretty much lining up to have their pictures taken with these girls.  Here is on where you can see the art better:

I wonder if these girls woke up today and were like, "Gah- I think I was walking around with nothing but panties on at the bar.  Was I?  No...I don't think so..." Aside from having photos taken, they did a little dance to some songs that a  band that was playing.  It was also pretty entertaining to walk by and just seem the plopped in a booth drinking a beer in their skivvies as if it were totally normal.  Oh me. Good times.

XOXO~ Cliff PO

I saw a ghost...

Beyonce's January 09 Elle Covers = Sahsa Narsty

I don't have a loto of time, but I wanted to get this out there ASAP.  I feel it's that important.  Beyonce is Elle's January cover girl.  Being creative genuises, they decided to come out with TWO covers for her.  One is for newstands, and one is for subscribers.  Let's take a look:

 

This is the one on newstands.  It doesn't really look like Beyonce to me.  But whatever.  It's not that bad.  It's just like any other Elle cover, and her rack does look great.  So here is the one that they sent to subscribers, people who already pay for the magazine and don't get to choose not to buy a certain issue based on the cover.  Essentially, people who are going to be stuck with the magazine regardless.

 

Holy, mother of pearl!  It looks like she having a hernia!  No. No. No.  This is not fierce, B!  I would love to hear some thoughts on this cover from Miss J and Tyra B.  I just have no words.  Now you see why THIS one didn't make the checkout aisle. 

PS Am I the only one out there who CAN'T STAND her new song?!

Misty Water Colored Memories Frozen in Time: When I was homeless

In college, my friend (and current roommate) was doing a graphic design project, and yours truly got to be her special assistant.  She had a vision, and that vision was a final product that would somehow include photos of a homeless person.  Not really wanting to go downtown and bother potentially drugged up bums that could be offended by her photographing them, she asked me to pose as a homeless person. I jumped at the opportunity.

I had completely forgotten about this whole situation until the other day.  If you remember from prior posts, my old laptop died.  Well, I just got my new one, and in the midst of transferring my photo files to the new machine, I stumbled upon the amazing shots of me pretending to be homeless.  I find them highly entertaining (and I may very well be the only one), but I figured they were worth posting and analyzing.

Here I am looking rough in the basement of our old house.  I guess we thought it would look like I was, as they say, "squatting" there. We worked very hard to make me look homeless.  To give my shirt a tattered look, we ripped it and stuck lit cigarettes into the fabric.  I think we even ended up setting part of the shirt on fire.  Then I put tons of bronzer on my face to appear as if I hadn't showered for days.  Come to think of it, I probably hadn't...but the bronzer was to add extra grime.  Then of course I have my "Got Beer?" trucker hat, flask and blanket (that I still use on my bed).   Okay, moving on:

 

Here I am looking helpless by the road.  If you look closely, you will notice our dirty old carpet behind me.  The dogs peed on it so much that we didn't want it anymore.  We set it by the curb, and apparently the trash men never wanted to pick it up.  It was there for a few months.  I think it adds a nice touch to the image.

 

Jen decided we should change locations.  Not wanting to be around lots of traffic or bystanders, we opted for the parking lot of the RBC Center.  Not really sure why.  I can't imagine homeless people hanging around there.  We brought along some props: a backpack, an empty 12 pack and a cup (for panhandling).  And if you're thinking that the crutches and large orthopedic boot are merely for show, you're sadly mistaken.  I actually had broken my foot (cuboid bone to be exact) while dancing at a heart-thumping performance of The American Hunks.  I'm being serious. 

 

Here we have, what I would say, is the shot that shows the most desperation.  I'm managing to hobble away from my pile of belongings with only one crutch.  I look downtrodden.  I look blue.  And let's not overlook the fact that the composition of this photo is nothing less than remarkable. 

 

I love this one.  My car is in the background, and if you look hard, you can make out the handicapped sign dangling from my rear view mirror.  If I can tell you one thing, my friend, it is this- the handicapped sticker is the silver lining to any broken cuboid bone.  You can also see the employees' cars behind me.  I wonder if they noticed us.

 

And finally, we have the close up.  I look highly disgruntled here.  You can really get an idea of how much bronzer I smeared on.  We also put something disgusting in my hair.  I can't remember what it was, but I remember I said "DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO MY HAIR," so it probably was gross.

I hope you enjoyed those as much as I currently am.  The joy that I have experienced as a result of finding these photos is priceless.  The pictures are ridiculous.  I do not look homeless, and I'm pretty sure that Jen wasn't able to use any of these in her project.  I had a great time doing it though, and I'll treasure the images for a lifetime.

Frozen in Time: Old Nude Bystanders!

Here are some pictures my friend sent me from a trip she took to The Dominican Republic.  I think the photos speak volumes! 

 

Obviously, Exhibit A was a nice old tush in a thong!  But Exhibit B features a thong clad man ALONG with a completely nude woman basking in the sunlight on her chase lounge.  It's just fun to look at.  I wonder where the old chaps are now!

Send me your photos now!

Frozen in Time: Bystanders at NC State Fair

 

My sister was trying to point out the silly sign that said "Wedgies," but this innocent bystander got caught in the shot!  It looks like Katie is actually presenting our stranger in the denim jacket!  He looks so downtrodden and blue.  He looks so lost!  He actually looks like he might run right into my sister.  Where is his group?!  You shouldn't be wandering around the fair alone! 

Frozen in Time: Vintage Bystanders!

More innocent bystanders.  Click on the photos to make them larger. 

Exhibit A)  Woman looks like she is about to "throw in the towel" at the annual Dos Toquitos birthday party.  I know how she felt- they had balloons covering the ENTIRE ceiling.
Exhibit B) Man in light wash jeans and muscle tank looks proud as he lands his double axle.  Thankfully, this happened just as Jen and I posed for a picture at Jellybeans skating rink.  (Note: color has been edited to better illustrate skating man.)

The Garland H. Jones Building

This is The Garland H. Jones building.  It's on the corner of Martin and Salisbury St. downtown.  I have to go to this building every now and then, (The Register of Deeds is in there) but I walk pass it almost every day.   I always admire this building.  I know that a lot of people think it's totally fug, but I love it.  Here are the reasons why:

1.)  It looks like something Mr. Brady would have designed- he was an architect after all.  It's like the 70s exploded on the corner.  I have a real love for the buildings of the 70s.  In fact, one day I hope to live in a ranch style home with lots of wood paneling!  Dare to dream!

2.) There is a lot of blue, and I love blue.

3.) It tells you the time and temperature.

4.) A really nice security guard sits in the lobby, and he always makes me feel welcome!  One day on my way to The Register of Deeds, a cracked out guy started hollering at me.  He said something like, "Hey!  Hey!  PRETTY LADY!" I smiled and then continued on my way (I'm always flattered by a compliment, no matter who it's from).  So I figured he would just leave me alone, but he started hobbling after me for about a block and a half.  "HEY!  WAIT!"  He kept on shouting the whole time.  I was reaching for the door of The Garland H. Jones Building, and the weirdo was about to follow me in.  But I saw my favorite security guard sitting inside.  We made eye contact, and I felt sure that he would not let this crackhead inside after me (a silent understanding if you will).  And he didn't!  And when I came out, the dope fiend was nowhere in sight.  I'm sure the security guard wouldn't remember this (or even remember me for that matter).  Either way, it concludes my point.  You can feel safe here.

I'm sure there are more amazing things about this structure, but I can't think of them now.  Anyways, I think they are going to deconstruct this building.  UGH.  What a shame!  Raleigh is tearing down everything with character.  Don't even get me started on the neighborhood houses!  Whatever.  I am going to enjoy the ole GHJ Building as long as I can.

Frozen in Time: More of Raleigh's Innocent Bystanders

Once again, you may click on the images to enlarge.

Exhibit A)  Woman looks to have just seen a ghost behind friends and I at a bar.  Apparently we aren't seeing what she saw.  (Note that I edited the color of this photo to better illustrate the bystander- we aren't that pale...if we were, I would understand that she thought she'd seen a ghost).

Exhibit B) Okay, there are a few things to observe in this photo.  #1-Beady eyed woman to our left appears possessed by the flash of the camera, or else she looks like she is about to cry...or is stoned.  #2-  Passing man looks slightly irritated/slightly intrigued, but manages to be captured nicely.  #3- I just wanted to point out the lovely macram shirt...Just  sayin'...macram is something near and dear to my heart.

Frozen in Time! - A Moment Captured at Tryst -

Sunday night, my sisters and I went to Tryst at The Wynn in Las Vegas.  Tryst is a really awesome club.  They have an enormous waterfall, and it's half inside and half outside.  It's actually probably one of the neatest places I've been to.

Well everyday, Tryst's website posts photos from the night before.  We went to the site to see if there were any pictures of us.  We didn't see any, but there were a ton of this one couple that we really got a kick out of.  These people look like mannequins.   I'm not sure if they are famous or not.  They're doing model poses, and they actually look like wax figures.  Here are some of the shots.  I hope you find these as hilarious as I do.  The waitresses with the sparklers are a magnificent touch.  If you recognize these people, PLEASE fill me in on who they are. I'm dying of curiosity!

So anyways, you should really go to Tryst if you are in Las Vegas.  And if you want to see more photos of these people, check out the gallery at Tryst's website.

Frozen in Time!

Sometimes I wonder how many photographs I'm in that I don't even know about.   Like how many people have dispalyed pictures in their homes with me unknowingly in the background.  With my luck, I'm probably in the background of some picture picking my wedgie!  Actually, that sounds like something I might do on purpose... 

Anyways, this got me thinking!  I take A LOT of pictures, and I decided to go through and find some interesting background people.  It's pretty entertaining.  Here we go (you can click on the photo to make it bigger):

Exhibit A) Man peering over as waitress at Carraba's sings an Italian Happy Birthday song for me.

Exhibit B)  Crazed dancer strikes as my sister, afraid to turn around, wonders what is spazaming behind her.

Exhibit C) A sad man is caught in the background as my friend whoops it up at a bar.

Exhibit D) Two men look like they're about to go in for the kill as my friends and I pose for a group shot at a bar.

I don't know about you, but this is how I get my jollies- finding weird people in the back of photos!  I think I will continue this as a new segment of the blog.  I'm going to Vegas tomorrow, so hopefully some strange things will be going on in the back of my shots. 

Please feel free to email me with any weird (yet innocent) bystanders that you've caught in you own photos.  I will display them proudly.   You can black their eyes out and circle the heads yourself if you want, or I can do it.  Whichever you prefer!