Cliff Pant-one

Daily Dagger: Because sometimes uncomfortable moments are like daggers to the heart

So I went out this weekend, and I may have drank a bit too much.  I was at a bar, and they had a band playing there.  I thought one of the band members was cute, so I formulated a GENIUS plan to hit on him.  I was sitting across the bar at my table when the perfect "line" came into my head.  I got up from my seat and walked confidently up to the side of the stage.

I tapped the guy on the shoulder.  He turned around.  And I say...

 "You have something in your teeth."

He gave me a dirty look, turned around and resumed playing. 

Needless to say, I did not leave an impression on his heart.  What was I thinking?  Why did I think that basically insulting him would impress him?  I guess I may never know.

Frozen in Time: Innocent bystanders CAPTURED!

 

This  submission features quite a few [not-so] innocent bystanders.  We have:

• Man in the back "brushing his shoulders off."  Although, he could be falling...
• Girl hunching over with her mouth open, and her friend (or maybe it's a frienemy...) who is attempting to photograph this.  Hopefully, THAT shot doesn't make it onto Facebook!
• Then we have a girl squatting down next to the photographer.  Maybe she's "dropping it like it's hot."  Or maybe she lost her contact lens!!!

So many gems in this photo!  Imagine how many YOU could be in!!  It's scary, right?

Submit bombed photos here!!!

Frozen in Time: Angry Bystander Caught!

Here we are whooping it up at a bar.  I don't know who this girl is or how she got in the picture!  But she does not seem pleased.  Perhaps she's an angry drunk who had one too many mai tais. 

Spotted: Naked Girls at Stool Pigeons

Last night, I went to Stool Pigeons and there were girls walking around in their panties.  No bras!  Yeah! They were wearing "body art," but it wasn't even realistic, like when the girls at the Playboy Mansion wear body paint to look like clothes.  It was just like random blotches on their boobs.  I can't believe that they were allowed in the place like that.  I asked some guy about it, and I think he said his friend was a tattoo artist who does "body art," and they painted them for some other guy's birthday.  I'm not sure if that's accurate; I was pretty tipsy...

So, I'm sure you're all dying to see the naked ladies.  Feast your eyes on this:

   

I don't know who that guy is, but I think it's a great picture.  People were pretty much lining up to have their pictures taken with these girls.  Here is on where you can see the art better:

I wonder if these girls woke up today and were like, "Gah- I think I was walking around with nothing but panties on at the bar.  Was I?  No...I don't think so..." Aside from having photos taken, they did a little dance to some songs that a  band that was playing.  It was also pretty entertaining to walk by and just seem the plopped in a booth drinking a beer in their skivvies as if it were totally normal.  Oh me. Good times.

XOXO~ Cliff PO

Frozen in Time: Bystander at Napper Tandy's

This boy is thrilled that we are taking pictures.  Maybe he was on a post-karaoke high.  Or he could be going strong from an adrenaline rush after giving the girl birthday whacks.

Spotted: Ralph at Haven

Me and my sister went to Haven this weekend.  It's a bar/club on Glenwood.  I'm pretty sure that place is kinda lame, but we were across the street at Brooklyn Heights and figured we'd stop in a check it out.  Well, we walked in and went directly to get a drink.  In an effort to grab the bartender's attention, my sister started to lean over the bar.  As soon as her skin hit the counter, she pulled away and screamed, "OHMIGODDDD!"  Before I knew what was happening, she was running to the bathroom.

Turns out somebody had vomited ON the bar, and NOBODY had cleaned it up.  It was just a big pile of upcuck sitting there.  Nobody was even pointing at it or acting like it was odd.  The bartender wasn't even put off by it.  NOTHING. 

You might be thinking, Didn't your sister see the throw up?  Well, she did see something, and I actually saw something too.  It was dark in there though.  What she thought she saw was a mosaic tiled bar, and I thought somebody had spilled salsa.  I didn't stop her from touching the salsa, because I didn't think she'd put her hands in it. 

Well, she went to the bathroom and washed her hands with scalding hot water, and then we went to the bar and ordered 'the strongest shot' they had.  Finally some waitress came to clean the bar.  She noticed it had been spewed all over, and she just flung her towel over top of it and left.  A few minutes later, some dude came and actually wiped it all up with bleach.  Either way, Haven was wack, and we left a bit later. 

It was just so bizarre.  Who pukes on a bar?  They couldn't even make it close to the bathroom- not even in the middle of the floor on the WAY to the bathroom.  It's like they didn't even try to move from the bar at all.  They didn't even turn away from the bar to yak on the ground BESIDE the bar.  The culprit must have been sitting there having a dink and just all of a sudden started projectile vomiting without any warning.  And it wasn't even late at night yet.  It was like 11.  And why didn't they clean it up?  I mean, the club was NOT crowded.  The puke was visable, and I'm sure people noticed the patron blowing chunks all over the place. 

So yeah.  It was sick, and Haven was lame.