Cliff Pant-one

I saw a ghost...

Life's Little Riddles: Why am I jonesin' fo cheese?!?!

I love cheese.  It makes any food better- except cereal or ice cream or pancakes...well, maybe it is not great on everything...  EVEN SO, I love it.  I like all kinds of cheese.  My top favorites would be muenster, swiss, havarti, mozzarella, blue, and feta.  I've always felt that my life wouldn't really be complete without cheese.  I want it!  I crave it!

I've finally found out why I can't get enough of this delightful dairy product!  There IS an actual explanation for why I can't kick the queso!!! 

CHEESE CONTAINS TRACES OF MORPHINE!!!  It turns out that cows produce morphine in their liver, and this gets into the CHEESE!  I'm sure you can look elsewhere and find a more scientific explanation, but I think I've nailed the main point.

It makes sense.  I mean, cheese doesn't really taste like much of anything.  I've often wondered why I've developed such strong feelings for the cheddar!  It's because I really am an addict!  If tiny traces of morphine make me like cheese this much, I better stay away from the opiates!  Imagine how much I'd like herion! 

REALLY THOUGH, DRUGS ARE BAD.  DON'T DO OPIATES! 

I think cheese is safe enough though.  Just don't get all strung out or go on day long cheese sprees! 

So yeah, cheese is addictive and contains morphine.  Who knew eating cheese was so edgy?!

Mushrooms and Squirrels Taking Over Cameron Village

All of a sudden, my neighborhood is full of mushrooms and batshit crazy squirrels.  The mushrooms aren't really a problem.  They're just random, and they're huge.  I have always had a strong desire to step on or kick giant mushrooms, but I'm really fighting that this time around.  I want to leave them intact because they're pretty much textbook toadstools.  The structure is flawless.  I saw one the other day with a cap the size of a knit beret!    Anyways, I find it odd that I've never seen a single mushroom around here, and now there are like a hundred.  I took a picture of some, and I rather fancy my photo.  So I will share:
Beautiful, isn't it?

Now the squirrels are more of a nuisance. For one, my dog wants to chase them all over the place.  This distracts her from urinating/defecating quickly in the morning, which in turn leaves me running around in front of the house like a lunatic wearing PJs and a coif that could be the result of a crossbreed between Don King and Martha Washington.

Besides that, the squirrels have been having an acorn war of sorts.  The A/C unit is right outside my window.  It's large and metal, as I assume most A/C units are.  Well the squirrels sit in a big tree right by the unit and dive-bomb acorns onto the hard surface.  When the acorns hit the A/C unit, it creates a loud clangy noise.  From the noise these nuts are producing, I imagine these acorns to be the size of human toddlers.  It's insane, and it wakes me up.  The other day I woke up at like 6 a.m. wondering why in the world my roommate would be walking around in stilettos at that hour.  I thought maybe she was getting ready for work early.  Then I realized it was THE SQUIRRELS.  They are relentless! 

I just wanted to share my experience so that if others are going through the same thing, they'll know that they're not alone.  Maybe my story can help somebody.