Cliff Pant-one

They've made a Snuggie for dogs!

Okay, now I've seen it all!  They've made SNUGGIES for DOGS!!!  You have GOT to go to this website and check out the video.  These dogs are a great- verging on Oscar worthy.  They actually seem to like wearing their Sunggies.

I ALMOST want to buy one of these.  It would be great to put one on Tyra.  I wonder what it would look like belted and a little jazzed up?  I think she's love it.  Of course, then I'd have to chase her around with the camera, and she does NOT like being photographed.  Such is life!

Anyways, if any of you decides to purchase a Snuggie for your pooch, you must tell me how it is.  And I'll give some advice: shell out the extra dinero for the EXTRA luxurious fleece material.  It's worth it.

So hopefully the Snuggie for felines will be out soon.  It doesn't seem fair to let the cats miss out on all the really good things in life.

Daisy of Love: Out like sauerkraut!

Here's a bit of the recap I did for Raleigh's Examiner page:

The crazy thing about Daisy of Love: all of the contestants are actually starting to make 12 Pack (Opps! I mean Dave…) look good. Unlike Fox, he can form sentences without the phrase “knowing the fact that.” He doesn’t suffer from rage blackouts like Big Rig and Flex seem to. And on top of all that, he clearly weighs more than Daisy, which is more than can be said for Sinister or Chi Chi. Daisy and 12 Pack seem like they could be a match made in heaven, especially in spin-off heaven! It only took dressing up in “size zero female leopard skins” and sucking face with Daisy on the couch of a lingerie shop for 12 Pack to realize the depth of their bond. It was magical.

Read the full article here!

Am I Cute of Crazy?

A while ago on Tough Love, Steve had the girls participate in a game called CUTE OR CRAZY?  In this game, a random quirk or idiosyncrasy about each girl was announced to all male audience.  Then the guys would determine whether their quirk was "cute" or "crazy."  For example: one of the girls had unicorn tapestries all over her apartment.  Another woman always wore an engagement ring that she'd proposed to herself with.  It was all very chauvinistic, but that's besides the point.

All of this got me thinking, because I do do some pretty weird things.  I mean, I don't propose to myself or anything, but I do have my fair share of eccentricities.  Like, I think it's hilarious to buy tacky needle-points and porcelain figurines at thrift store and then decorate my house with them.  I mean, it's pretty much a joke, but some people don't "get it."  I mean, when I have a guest over for the first time, will they understand that my wooden plaque with mother/daughter unicorns drinking serenely from a babbling brook is just for kicks?  Will they get the ironic, it's hip to be square kind of thing?

Another thing that causes me even more concern is my snowglobe collection.  I've been collecting them since I was in high school, and I'm completely obsessed with them.  Since it's been almost 10 years since I began assembling my assortment, the number of domes I've gathered has really grown.  I mean, I buy snowglobes when I go out of town AND people buy them for me.  I have A LOT.  And they're proudly displayed in my room, right next to my bed.  In other words, they're not a joke like the needle-points.

I always loved my snowglobes.  I'd dust them often and wrap them individually whenever I moved.  But one day, I had a new visitor.  This visitor looked at my beloved collection and said, "ARE THOSE SNOWGLOBES?!"  I said, "YES."  I mean, what did he think they were?  Big earrings?  Then he started laughing really hard.  I was just thinking he was drunk or something, but later he told me that it reminded him of Christine Taylor's character in Dodge Ball and how she had a massive collection of unicorns in her house.  And how in the movie when a guy who was interested in her came over, he was all freaked out by her unis. 

So ever since then, I've been self-conscious of my snowglobe collection.  For a size reference: it takes up about two shelves on my bookshelf.  I didn't even buy any snowglobes when I went to Europe this year, because this has really been weighing on my mind.  It was kind of sad, but maybe it's just something I need to grow out of. I kind of think I should just be true to myself and keep on with the snowglobes.  I mean, how are snowglobes any different from magnet collections or cookie jar collections? Maybe this guy was simply intimidated?  But who knows, maybe it IS CRAZY and not cute? 

Whatever, I'm keeping them.

(PS That is an actual picture of part of my collection)

I'm Examining Reality TV!

 

Hey!  Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm writing for Examiner.com.  I'm Raleigh's Reality TV Examiner!  Pretty perfect, right?  Sooo, click here to check out my page!  I'm JUST starting, but keep checking back for updates.  Or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!!! I'll be covering a lot of MTV, VH1, Bravo, E!, Oxygen and duh- So You Think You Can Dance.

New York Goes to Work's "Big Fat Hairy Man" is NOT NUDE

Each week on New York Goes to Work, Tiffany Pollard (aka Flavor of Love's New York) gets placed at a new undesirable job.  For instance, one week she worked as an exterminator.  If she completes the job to the approval of the boss, she receives $10,000 (which I think is way too much for ONE day of work...they should have probably just kept that number to themselves, with the economic crisis we're in and all.  But hey, maybe New York can single-handedly save the economy by buying lots of vodka and ranch dressing...).  ANYWAYS, the show is kind of good, because New York is hilarious.  Although, this show is kind of like a copy of The Simple Life, which is WAY better (dare I say, THE BEST SHOW EVER?!). 

But back on track: This week, New York was set to work at a nudest colony.  Of course, she was freaking out about all the loose dong and boobs, because as it commonly seems: most people at nudest colonies are either senior citizens or large. 

So there was one man there that New York deemed "Big Fat Hairy Man."  This guy was really flamboyant and annoying.  He kept asking her to find "the floaties" for him, which I can only assume (and hope) were some sort of pool toys. 

The main issue with BFHM?  He was not nude!  Now some of the people there were wearing vests or open Hawaiian shirts (don't ask me why), but this guy was obviously wearing some sort of speedo or loin cloth.  That's fine!  I mean, only expose what you're comfortable with!  But New York repeatedly freaked out over his junk.  Take a look here:
As you can see, I've circled BFHM's apparel in Microsoft Paint.  I refuse to believe these pieces of cloth are some sort of hip guard crotchless manties that let his peen fly free.  I just don't buy it.  SO this leads me to wonder: is this guy an actor?!  I've often wondered this about New York's shows.  Especially in New York Goes to Hollywood when she had to do that Japanese commercial where she said "BECAUSE LIFE TAKES CHOPS" and the director was a complete lunatic who was throwing stuff all over the place and acting like a demon who was 3 seconds away from murdering everybody.

So even though I feel betrayed by the producers at New York Goes to Work, I was not that worried.  But I was worried when I saw this on BFHM:
I don't know what in the world that is hanging out under his gut.  On the TV it looked like a towel, but now it looks like a giant donut.   Maybe it is one of "the floaties?"  What do YOU think?!

Daisy of Love: Cliff's Picks

Daisy of Love premiered last night, and it was everything I thought it would be: colorful and unsavory characters fueling up on Jack Daniels and testosterone.  I have to admit, I was a little sad when the triplets got eliminated, but I can understand Daisy's reasoning.  It's gotta be hard to date 3 guys at once, especially when you can't understand what they're saying and all they want to do is eat uncooked hot dogs dipped in salsa.

With that said, I'd like to call out my "picks" for Daisy.  I'm basing my decision solely on looks, because we haven't had MUCH else to judge these guys on yet.  I made a nice little illustration in Microsoft Paint to depict my selections:

 

All of my picks look kind of the same...

I think Big Rig is the hottest, and he sounds kind of country, so that's cute.  Professor is only 22, and Daisy is 27 (I think), so that might be something to consider.  London looks like Jared Leto, but he passed out in the closet on the first episode.  Flex is alright.  12 Pack is a tool, but for some reason, I think he's pretty hot.  And also for some reason, I kind of think he and Daisy wouldn't make a terrible couple.  Maybe it's fate for them!?  I could see it in the stars!

So, only God knows what the outcome will be, but these are the guys who are the least offensive on the ole glems (that's jive-speak for eyes).  Go Big Rig!!!

Spotlight on Toe Heads

Toe heads are just one of the many breed of men I fancy (I do not discriminate)!  Who can resist that pale skin and white blonde hair?!  Not me!  That's for sure.  Add in a pair of big ole plump lips, and you've created a walking dream!  I was googling "famous pale people," "famous blonde pale men," and "famous toe heads," and believe it or not, the results were not plentiful.  George Washington kept coming up...

So figuring that I'm not the only one out there with a passion for toe heads, I thought I'd do you all the service of highlighting some lovely blondes so that if you ever google "famous albinos," your search actually might turn up some results. (And PS I'm not sure if these people are all 100% certified toe heads, but you work with what you can...)

Michael Pitt (toe featured above) is my number one yellow locked man.  He's got it down.  This man needs no caption.

Ryan Gosling: He could use a little Sun-In.  He's teetering on the edge of dirty blonde, but who doesn't love Noah Calhoun?  Maybe one of the world's most loved wheat haired men.

Spencer Pratt (on left in picture above): Not my favorite toe, but a toe nonetheless (and Spence, you should stay out of the sun.  Tans don't look good on toes!  Plus, you're more prone to get a narsty sunburn). 

 

Nick Carter: I have a feeling his blonde might have come from a bottle, but I'll let it slide.  Well, only if he'll get his brother, Aaron, to dance for me.

Macaulay Culkin: Classic.  He looks a lot like Michael Pitt to me, but not as dashing. 

Aaron from Taking The Stage (on left): Seeing as he's still in high school, he's our juvie toe.  He's even taking tips from Spencer, growing his own flesh colored beard!

Chet from The Real World: Virgin Toe!

So there you have it.  I hope that everybody searching for fair skinned male beauties on the internet can find some sanctuary here. 

Just trying to do my part. 

Cliff's Favorite Reality TV Bromances

Oh me.  Oh my.  You know I love some reality TV.  You can't really blame me; it's enthralling stuff!  I've noticed a trend on some of these shows.  Sometimes when people join the cast of a reality show, they form stronger relationships than they'd ever bargained for.  Friendships that will last a lifetime, if you will.  Some of the most touching bonds that have been formed have been between men, and I'm not talking gay men.  I'm talking bromances.  I just love it when two men can lean on one another and shed a tear.  I love it when they can talk about emotions and wipe bits of salsa off their bro's cheek.  And I especially love it when the producers of such shows create video montages of the two bros set to the backdrop of cheesy love songs, as if they were really romantically in love.

So this has led me to some thinking, which in turn resulted in Cliff Pant-one's Favorite Bromances of Reality TV (in no particular order) list!  Hold onto your socks, cuz I'm about to knock 'em off:

Ryan and Chet (Real World: Brooklyn)

 

These two had a connection that was undeniable.  From the moment they entered the house, it was them against the world.

Nick and Aaron Carter (House of Carters)

 

Just because they're brothers doesn't mean they can't be bromantical.  Nick's tough love helped strengthen Aaron's grasp on the ropes of life, and in the process, created a bromance that could make the toughest meat-head weep.

Luke and Alex(Bromance)

 

They were competing for a Bromance with Brody Jenner, but they found something they could never have dreamed of: each other.

Tim Gunn and Andrae Gonzalo (Project Runway, Season 2)

 

This was a classic case of teacher falls for student (and vice versa).  So adorable!  -(and yes they are gay, but not romantically involved, so I conside it a bromance)- Somebody also made a hysterical video about this one.  Check it below!

There is something to say for these bromances: they are real.  That is why it's called REALITY TV.  Beavis and Butthead, Rickey and Fred, Jerry and George- they got nothing on these guys. 

Life's Little Riddles: Are reality stars telling us their real ages?!

I love reality TV, but sometimes I feel like the stars of the show look so much older than their real ages.  Sometimes I'll look it up on the Internet and be like "WHAT?!  HUH?!" (think Britney Spears in her infamous YouTube video- the one in which she finds out that Spun has already come out on DVD). 

Soooo, I'd like to go over some reality stars who, I believe, are fudging the truth about their ages.  And I'm not saying they are for sure!  I'm just trying to figure out if they are liars or if the TV just makes people look old.  Okay, let's get started!

#1: Ashley from Rock of Love Bus, My ESTIMATED age: 25  

REAL age: 22

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ashley.  I think she is hilarious (and pretty)!  BUT, I just didn't think she was 22.  I'm 24, and I thought she would at least be my age.  I was just surprised. 

#2Tommy from Tool Academy: My ESTIMATED age: 26

 

REAL Age: 23

I love Tommy.  I think he is really hot, even if he is kind of a dingbat.  And he seemed like a sweet guy until the reunion. But I just never imagined him as 23.  If I saw him at a bar, I would def think he was older than me.  But I would be mistaken. Hmm.

Leslie from House of Carters: My ESTIMATED age (at time of the show): 24

REAL Age (at time of the show): 19

Yet ANOTHER of my favorite shows.  I just wouldn't have guessed in a million years that she was 19 on the show.  She is 22 now, and that is even younger than I would have guessed.  I am really just baffled.  This photo was taken at the time of taping.  I couldn't find a good screen cap to show what she looked like on the show, but this is a really good picture of her.  I'm starting to conclude that the TV just ages you.

#4 McKey from America's Next Top Model: My ESTIMATED age: 25

 

REAL age (at time of the show & this photo): 19

Now, I suspect that McKey looking old had a lot to do with the "make-over" Tyra gave her.   If that isn't a mom haircut, I don't know what is.

So what do you think?  In addition to 10 lbs, does the camera add on a few years?!  I KNOW that there are other reality stars that I've thought look older than they really are, but it's hard to think of them on demand.  I'll be wracking my brain- don't you worry - and

if

when I think of them, I'll add!!

"Most Annoying Person on Reality TV" Title Handed Down to Aliea

Cliff Pant-one will be handing down the title of "Most Annoying Person on Reality TV" from Lacey of Rock of Love to Aliea from The Bad Girls Club.  Here's why:

Aliea thinks that she is a "bad girl."  All she is is an insecure hypocrite who talks trash to get everybody rilled up.  She would never hold her own in a fight.  She is always threating to kick Amber's ass, but the one time she ever did anything, she kicked Amber in the stomach when other people were holding her down.  Not very hardcore.   The only time she can hurt somebody is when they're totally defenseless?  She could have fought Amber when she was on the patio in LA, when she was flinging lawn tables all around?  But no.  She waited until Amber was curled in a ball on the ground and kicked her in the stomach so many times that she bruised her foot.  That is MESSED up!

Then the next day, she (along with others) gloated about it.  She said stuff like, "Amber can't handle it.  She's probably never been jumped before."  Have you been jumped Aleia?  Sorry, if you have, but it's not just a normal thing that happens.  It's probably pretty hard to deal with.  If YOU got jumped, I'm willing to bet that you'd be reacting even worse than Amber. Especially if hardly anybody was on your side, and it was 2 against 5.

On top of the fighting situation, Aliea:

• Talks baby talk
• Does things like stand on the table looking at her flowers, thinking she is adorable
• Wear suspenders and tall socks
• Is a total hypocrite, because she talks shit all day long and then gets INSANE about people talking shit.  She actually just gets insane for no reason.  Somebody will be mad, and then she's just eggs them on.  Then she trys to turn everybody against weak targets.
• She cheats on her boyfriend
• She cried about going Speed Dating because she is insecure and wants attention and for people to ask her what is wrong (just like she accused Amber of doing after being JUMPED, which is a lot more serious than SPEED DATING)

I really could go on all day.  Aliea is the most annoying person on TV, period.  I don't know if anybody will ever be able to steal her crown.  But this is actually a serious issue.  Aliea has some real problems if she treats people the way she does, sceming and manipulating because of her own weakness and insecurity.  So she really needs help.  And apparently she has already been in a mental hospital, so I'm guessing she knows that something she is doing is not right.

Also, young girls who are watching this need to know that it is NEVER okay to fight.  Most all of these girls are weak people who are letting anger get the best of them.  They never make any sense when they're talking.  They are total followers.  And JUMPING people is especially never okay!  It kind of makes me mad that they would show something like that on reality TV, but I guess they can show whatever they want.  I just feel like this is going to make teenage girls think that it's okay to be catty, bitchy, manipulative, constantly drunk, irrational, immature, aggressive, explosive, and all the other things that The Bad Girls are.   

Rock of Love Bus: Ashley Attempts to Drunk-Eat Lean Cuisine Stuffed Cabbage

Last night's Rock of Love Bus included the best moment of the season thus far.  This moment went like this:

Ashely had way too much to drink at Bret's show, and she came back to the bus wanting a little something to eat.  Drunk eating is common among women- we all do it.  So Ashley decides to make a Lean Cuisine Stuffed Cabbage with Whipped Potatoes meal. 

The scene opens with her yelling "WHO LIKES BASILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!!?"  Then she falls over and drops the meal.  She then flings it at some other girl, and is like "HOW DO I MAKE THISSS - REMOVE TRAY AND CUT FOILLLLLLLL....BAUTCHHHH. (that is how she pronounces bitch)."  It is virtually impossible for me to describe how hilarious this is, so I'm going to have to direct you to a link.  Click here (and then click the video on the side that says "are we there yet? episode 7") to see the scene (it's actually an extended scene from the website, so you'll get to see even MORE of the amazing footage).

And while I'm on the subject of Ashley, does she remind anybody else of Juliette Lewis? 

And another point of interest: how is the stuffed cabbage?  Looking at the Lean Cuisine website, the meal is described as "stuffed cabbage filled with a delicious blend of roasted ground beef, rice and seasonings.  Topped with a chunky tomato sauce and served with a side of whipped potatoes."  I imagine that the cabbage would be really soggy and disguisting.  Maybe it's better Ash didn't get into the plastic film, because stuffed cabbage with chunky tomatos would NOT be fun coming up, if you get my drift.  BUT the meal only has 220 KCals, so it IS a healthy drunk eating choice...much more forgiving than the hunk of chocolate cake I ate that was basically as big as my head.  And one more point: the website does not mention ANYTHING about the stuffed cabbage containing basil, so I'm going to have to assume that Ashley is a dingbat (yes) or that she was reading something else in the cupbord that contained basil, and not wanting to eat baisl, she opted for the cabbage.  CASE CRACKED!

Enjoy your day!

Cliff's Most Fascinating People: Aaron Carter

I have been watching House of Carters all day long...well not really all day long, but for a good portion of it...  Anyhow, I've realized that Aaron Carter is an amazingly fascinating person.  If you have not seen this show, please check it out on Itunes ASAP. 

Why is Aaron so worthy of the list?! 

1. He's intense.  Aaron is prone to bouts of severe emotion.  Whether he is talking about how big his heart is (so big that he's been gripping it, feeling how hard it is beating) or having deep conversations about how wise Nick is, he's always very in touch with his emotions.  He really does have a big heart. 

2. He wants lots of sex.  At one point, he yells at his family, saying that he wants to have sex because he's very sexually frustrated since he hasn't had any sex for a year and all his siblings have been having a lot of sex.
3. He's an amazing dancer.  I will be following this post with a clip of Aaron's moves.
4. He looks like a blonde version of Tommy Lee.  He's a bit weathered for such a young man.  He has the look of a recovering addict, but he works it in a good way.
5. He's never wearing a shirt.
6. He gets drunk and acts a fool at the grocery store.
7. He barks at Nick in the midst of a fight.
8. He's a family man.


After watching him for hours upon end, I've realized that I want to be his girlfriend.  I don't really care if I'm a bit older.  If anybody reading this knows Aaron, please give him my contact info. 

Let's take some time to review a few Aaron quotes (a lot of them are funnier in context, which is why you need to purchase the epps on Itunes)...

• "I want to go back and have sex , 'cause it's been a year since I fucking had any sex, and you guys are all having are having LOTS of sex, and I am very sexualy frusturated!"

I'm actually having a hard time with my video player, so let's just let some clips speak for themselves.  Either way, just know this: I think Aaron Carter is a genius...BEST SHOW EVER.

Wife Swap's Taco Mama

This is what the information box on the cable guide said about an episode of Wife Swap:

"A perfectionist trades places with a woman who feeds her family takeout tacos."

I think it's great that when the writers could only pick one little trait about the woman to list on the guide, they picked that she feeds her family takeout tacos. 

It seems like a funny thing to point out, but the tacos really did play a big role in the woman's life.  When time for the rule change came, the new mother declared, "Let's not slave over dinner and work like a machine to clean it up!  This week we'll eat nothing but takeout tacos!"  The new family did not seem thrilled.

Oh, Wife Swap!  You can't make this stuff up.

(Taco Mama is on far right.)

Does Duncan on The City Look VAGUELY Familiar?

Whenever Erin's long-distance beau, Duncan, makes an appearance on "The City," I get the feeling that this chap is a chap I've seen before.  Here are some photos of Dunan:

So there he is, a right good looking fellow if I do say so myself.  Anyways, for some reason, all I can think of when I see him is this:

Yeah!  Charles Manson, cult leader responsible for a string of unthinkably cruel murders. 

But then when I thought about it more (I wasted A LOT of my time thinking about this), I thought maybe Duncan looked like this:

The late Chris Mccandless, of whom the book and movie Into The Wild are based upon.  (And PS: you can really see how think Mccandless got in pic numero uno!)

Upon close inspection, Duncan doesn't really RESEMBLE either of these characters.  I mean, MAYBE they could pass as relatives.  But I guess all of this does say one thing: Duncan has an unkempt loony-eyed mountain man look to him, and I kind of like it!

PS: If they ever put up the screencaps from LAST night, I will update this blog!  Duncan wore a toboggan, and it proves my point further.

Misty Water Colored Memories: The Torkelsons

Do you remember The Torkelsons?!  I do!  It was a brilliant show about this woman, Millicent Torkelson, raising her five children in the small town of Pyramid Corners, Oklaholma.  Millicent has a lot of financial woes, which she struggles with throughout the show.  The money problem gets so bad, they have to get a boarder to live in their basement, whom they refer to him as "Boarder Hodges..." because his name is Wesley Hodges. And by the way, I always find it odd when people refer to one another as whatever they are followed by their name.  For example: Widow Jenkins (Buttercream Gang reference) or Cousin Dick (Full House reference). I would hate to be singled out as "Courier Mary" or "Daughter Mary."

Either way the show was tops!  One of the best of it's time.

All the kids had double names: Dorothy Jane, Steven Floyd, Ruth Ann, Chuckie Lee and Mary Sue (that's also the order of their ages from oldest to youngest...how do you like them apples!?).  Dorothy Jane was a whimsical teenager who frequently sat on her widow seat and conversed with "the man in the moon."  As a kid, I thought she was so cool for having a window seat.  I wanted a window seat more than anything.  So much so that I tried to craft one by setting up my toy chest in front of a window and putting a bunch of pillows on it.  It was not the most comfy.  So when that didn't work, I tried to climb onto a shelf that was built into the wall underneath this window that we had in a little alcove.  I didn't fit, and I most likely did a bit of damage to the shelf.

Anyways, I digress!  Dorothy Jane was the kid they focused most on.  The rest were kind of secondary and annoying.

One eppisode I remember really well was when Dorothy Jane was trying to get advice from the most popular girl in school, Callie Kimbro.  Callie's advice to DJ was something like this, "Just be confident.  Say to yourself, 'I'm better than everybody else.  I'm the homecoming queen."  You have to imagine that being said in a very many southern voice (because Callie was cursed with a deep voice).  Me and Kitty still quote her on this.  Hey!  It's good advice!

Oh!  I did some IMDBing, and it looks like everybody in the cast has a pretty long acting resume (Ruth Anne's was the shortest). 

Anyways, it's a great show.  If you didn't ever get a chance to see it, here's a clip:

If Only...

If only Cliff had compiled his/her list of the hottest reality TV personalities just a month later, these two would have been included.

Allie Crandell from The City

Tommy Houlihan from Tool Academy

Tommy (aka "Slacker Tool") did not have the most extensive photo album...but trust me, he is hot.)

...just sayin'...

The Rephresh Commercial Makes Me VERY Uncomfortable.

I hope this never comes on when I have a boy over!

The City's Nevan was Arrested for Pursuing BJs...classy! (and issues with The City)

So, I've been on a blob reading binge, and a lot of posts on Gawker.com and Jezebel.com have centered around MTV's The City (understandably, as both are based out of NYC).  So, I feel it is my duty to share with you one such article about Nevan, Olivia's "social" cousin who is the epitome of charm and grace.  Apparently, he got arrested for pursing a BJ by way of prossy in FL.  The info originally came from The Smoking Gun, but I prefer Gawker.  Of course, you can click on TSG links to get more info.  Also, please pay attention to reference to Nevan's "rhinestone belt" and "shiny underwear."  Here's the article.

And since I'm no the topic, you should probably read this old article from New York Magazine about Olivia Palermo.  (Besides her, the article talks about some really fascinating stuff such as a [now down] website called Socialite Rank.) Apparently, there's a lot to say about ole Mad Libs (Olivia)... and a lot that people in good ole NC don't know!  Gah- we should all just pack up and move to THE CITY!

Oh!  I feel the need to add: has anybody else notice how damn skinny Whitney Ports legs are?!  She has really dropped a ton of weight since The Hills started (which is typical...you know, becoming a larger than life celebrity and all).  Here's a shot of Whitney, Mad Libs, and Erin's legs.  Guess which sticks are Whit's! Whitney's are the second pair (from whichever way you look), although, all those stems could use a cheeseburger.  And cute pink shoes, Erin!

Daddy's Girls and Hills Girls: Same Apartment?

Daddy's Girls is a new reality show on MTV.  It follows Angela and Vanessa Simmons through their new lives in LA.  It seems like a fine show (although the ending where they email their father a "progress report" is pretty scripty and campy), but there is one thing that's been bothering me.

I'm pretty sure that A and V are residing in the exact apartment (or at least the same complex/building) that L.C. and Audrina from The Hills lived in.  The only differences appear to be the furniture (duh), the light fixtures and the paint on the door, cabinents and walls.  To me, it makes the show seem faker.  It's like, did they really go to LA and just happen to move into the same building as LC?  Or did the producers set them up to live there, because the place was already set up for filming?  I don't know. Aren't they trying anymore?! It just doesn't add up.  And on top of that, I think I'd find it more aesthetically stimulating to subject my senses to a new visual- instead of the same ole apartment that I've seen a million times.

 

OH!  I'm still also confused about whether Schwee was real or not.

Cliff Pant-one's Hottest Men of Reality TV

As promised!  I had trouble narrowing it down!!!

Number 10: Santino Rice (Project Runway)

Number 9: Bret Michaels (Rock of Love)

Number 8: Isaac Stout (Real World Sydney)

Number 7: Cohutta Lee (Real World Sydney)

Number 6: Joshua Allen (So You Think You Can Dance)

Number 5: CT Tamburello (Real World Paris)

 

 

Number 4: Andre Birleanu (America's Most Smartest Model)

 

 

Number 3: Justin Bobby (The Hills)

 

 

Number 2: Kenny Wormald (Dance Life)

 

Number 1: Danny Nunez (Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency)

 

It was hard, but I had to narrow it down.  Honorable mention goes to pretty much every guy on The Real World challenge shows.

Cliff Pant-one's Hottest Girls of Reality TV

I saw some list of this nature, and I thought it sucked.  It included people such as Pumpkin (Flavor of Love) and Frenchie (Rock of Love).  I'm sure some people find them sexy, but I just thought I could do better.  So I started to compile my list, and one thing became very apparent: I am very heterosexual.  I think women are beautiful, and I thought I would have NO problem thinking of the hottest ones on reality TV, but I got stumped.  I could only think of seven that I feel are georgous to the point that they could be on CP's list.  So here they are (and don't worry, a guy list is coming later):

Number 7:  Holly Huddleston (Sunset Tan)

(Holly is on the right in this pic.  Molly (on the left) is pretty too, so she can be on the list as an honorable mention.)

Number 6: Chante Leblanc (Maui Fever)

Number 5: Dani Evans (America's Next Top Model)

 

Number 4: Brittany Flickinger (Paris Hilton's My New BFF)

Number 3: Kim Stolz (America's Next Top Model)

Number 2: Alexis Hutt (Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency)

 

Number 1: Anna Stimson (Maui Fever)

I'm pretty sure all of these girls have gone onto work in the modeling/acting industry.  Looking at my choices, do you think I have a type?  Blondes! 

WTF: Drugged-out Aussie Kangaroo Dancing at Volleyball Game

 

This is a still from the Aussie Shampoo commercial- the one where they're all playing volleyball, and this guy is on the side lines dancing like a spasming starfish.  I find it highly entertaining.  They're just playing ball, and then they flash over, for like a split second, to said marsupial.  He looks insane. He's just convulsing for a second, humping the air. His tongue is hanging out of his mouth, for Chrissake.  It's like he took some Xanax before the game and is trying to muster up the energy to cheer and look alive.  Oh me.  Just makes me laugh.  Here's the full commercial:

What are Paris and her new BFF (Brittany Flickinger) up to now?!

I'll be the first to say that I was confused about Paris Hilton's show My New BFF.  What was the prize?  Winning her friendship?  Was Paris really going to hang out with the winner after the show?  Was the winner going to have to move to LA?  Would Paris have to pay the winner's rent?  LA is a lot more expensive than other places!  Did they win money at all?  A car?  Why would somebody want to win the friendship of Paris?  To just follow her through town?  To be carted around to parties?  Will Paris really call the new BFF up to dish about gossip?  Will they go to lunch?  Will they cry on each other's shoulders and have laundry fights in their skivvies? Apparently, I've thought about it a lot.  I just felt like the whole show was stupid, and I never believed that Paris and the BFF would actually hang out after the show wrapped. 

On her myspace, Brit posted a bunch of, what appear to be, paparazzi shots of her and Paris doing everyday BFF activities.  So I guess they have been hanging out since the show's finale.  Oh- and it also said that Brittany quit her band.  I guess she WASN'T trying to use Paris to get ahead with her career as a rockstar.  Take that Vanessa!

 

This picture features Paris and Brittany leaving a tanning salon.  There are also pictures from the same day of them going to a pet store.

 

Here they are on their first night out together as BFFs. 

 

Here they are leaving an art gallery.  Don't trip, Paris!

 

And finally, here they are in Miami.

I guess this is what life is like when you get to be Paris Hilton's BFF.  Thrilling!  Although, Brittany does appear to be in some sort of drug induced walking coma in some of these shots.  Don't get me wrong, I think she is ADORABLE.  She just looks stoned out of her mind.  Not to say that she is actually stoned.  Her myspace says she does NOT smoke or drink.  I guess that knocks out crack, but myspace doesn't have a box to check for Ketamine, so we'll have just assume...

MTV Made: Alex Wants to be a Skateboarder

I wanted to throw telephone books at the television the other day.  You might find yourself asking why such a positive and uplifting person such as myself would be feeling compelled to act out such devious stunts.  Well...I was watching MTV, and I think I may have found a reality TV personality more annoying than Lacey Conner.  Impossible, you might think.  Oh no.  I'm quite sure of it. 

I was enjoying an episode of Made, and in said episode, Alex (allergy ridden country clubber/politician's daughter) wants to be "made" into a skateboarder.  Holly is appointed as Alex's coach, and I feel that I should add, Holly seems to be one of the nicest and most understanding Made coaches on the show.  I mean, she didn't even make Alex do any embarrassing "assignments" like go visit 10 popular girls that you don't know at their houses and talk about life as an Emerald(that's a dance team featured on one such episode) or ask a boy that you've never talked to to be your swing dance partner for the big talent show.  Holly simply asked Alex to complete tasks such as skate down a ramp or ya know, practice...

Though I had my issues with her, the annoying person was not young Alex...you have to pick your battles....  But was anybody else shocked when underage hottie Dylan agreed to be her boyfriend after only one "amazingly fun" romp at the skate park?  

It was Alex's mother who was so exasperating!  Alex would not cooperate with Holly, and like any   coach, Holly would try to tell Alex to listen to her.  Then Alex's mom would fly off the handle like a complete lunatic and say things like, "NOW I'M MAD, AND YOU DON'T WANT THAT...CUZ I'LL CUTYOU'RE HEAD OFF!!!" (<---That quote is not verbatim, but close.) Holly would just stand there, astonished (as was I) at the words coming out of Mama's mouth.  Then the mom had a public freak out at the skate park (where Dylan could have easily been watching), and in turn, Holly walked off.  So ole moms decided to take over the training, even though she'd never skateboarded a day in her life.  Then she continuously belittled Holly's training methods, and came up with her own teaching style where she had Alex put duck take on her shoes and hit the ground with what I think was a lacross stick or something.  Brilliant! 

I still don't know how Holly kept her cool.  I'm surprised she didn't start laughing in her face.  And if I were Holly, I don't think I'd have agreed to come back and continue training Alex after that.  I mean, Alex didn't even seem to want to be doing the skateboarding thing at all.  Maybe she just carried on training Alex for MTV's hefty paycheck (this was filmed a while ago...before the economic disaster).  Either way, I think Holly deserves some sort of trophy or medal or tiara for dealing with BOTH of these people.  She has the patience of a saint.  In fact, I think I'll start a petition. 

Sign the petition here!

Just Sayin': Lacey Conner = Ultimate Stain!

Lacey Conner is the most annoying person on the planet.  I want to throw telephone books at her head.  How is she still on Rock of Love Charm School?  She's like a roach that won't die (figuratively speaking, of course). Can't Sharon see that she is the devil?!  Or is she just still on for ratings?!  She makes me insane!!!  AHHHH!!! MY blood is boiling!  I can't believe Dallas got expelled.  Dallas should have beat Lacey up when she had the chance (since she ended up going home for nothing).  

Why is Lacey so annoying? 
1.  She acted like she was a starving artist when she really lived off her dad's money (and she's 32).
2.  She acts like she is 14, trying to play games and get in everybody's face (and she's 32).
3.  She has Hot Topic-esque dyed neon red hair (and she is 32).
4.  She harps and harps about animal rights and she eats SALMON!!!  (I don't even eat salmon!)
5.  She looks like a wet rat/white female version of Ja Rule.
6.  She thinks she's a rock star. 
7.  She is a master manipulator!

Typically, I try not to point out other peoples' bad points, but I think Lacey is the most annoying person on television (even more so than Gary Busey, Dustin Diamond, Dunbar from Real World, Neveen & Cordilla from Bad Girls Club, Spencer Pratt and Lauren Conrad combined).  I just can't help it.  I'm sure she would think it's fab that people hate her.  I bet she loves it. If you've seen her on TV, you know what I mean.  All I'm sayin' is that I'm going to quit watching the show if she's not expelled next week.  Oh wait, who am I kidding...I'll never quit. 

Spotted: No More Badgers Magnet

All throughout NC (I think), they have these TV commercials for Johnson Automotive with this hilarious badger car salesman.  The badger tries to sell people cars, and he's really rude to them.  My favorite badger quote comes when he's pitching a car to a woman and the badger says, "There's a rear-view mirror- that's where you can put on your makeup..."

Anyways, it's much funnier when you actually see the badger, so here's a Youtube video of all the commercials put together:

 

Now you see what a riot they are!  I mean it's impossible to keep a straight face when the badger says, "DON"T TALK TO ME; I"M ON MY POPCORN BREAK!"  And what about his crazy wiggle room dance?!  That wonky furball gets me every time!

Well, this guy who lives in my sisters neighborhood has a magnet on his car.  Here it is:  

Isn't that hilarious?!?  I have never seen another one of these.  I mean, I guess if they are giving them out at the dealership, most people would probably just put it on the fridge and NOT on their new car.  I would put it on mine... It's way cooler than those magnetic soccer balls and charity ribbons everybody is slapping on these days.  My cousin from out of town was like, "Why does that person have a giant animal in a suit on his car?!"  I imagine it would be quit puzzling if you didn't know what that was.  It's huge!  It's genius!  How can I get one for the Subaru?!

XOXO~Cliff Pant-one

COM[onday]IC: Tommy from True Life I Have a Summer Share

Click on the comic, and it will get bigger.  It's easier to read that way!

 

WTF: Raven's Hair on Rock of Love Charm School

I watched Rock of Love Charm School tonight, and I'm pretty sure it's the best show ever. 

I have a question though, and I feel confident in assuming that I'm not the only inquiring mind out there that is wondering WHAT THE HECK WAS UP WITH RAVEN'S HAIR?!  I don't remember her from Rock of Love.  I'm guessing she got voted off pretty quickly since I have no recollection of her in the series.  I don't know if her hair has always been so terrible, but GOOD LORD! 

The mop is obviously a wig.  It has to be a wig- the worst wig I've ever seen in my entire life.  For one, it is lopsided.  Besides that, it's platinum blonde on a black girl (not the most natural look ever).  So there is this one point in the show where Lacey tries to rip the wig off Raven's head, but it won't budge.  It's stuck on there good.  Lacey is like, "Ohmigod I thought it was a wig!"  Well I say, it is a wig!  It doesn't matter if it is stuck to her dome somehow.  I think she's got it sewn on.  A girl on America's Next Top Model had her wig sewn on her head before.  See Raven's do for yourself:


Raven is obviously delusional.  You can see her black fuzz peeping out from underneath.  You really have to see it on TV to get the complete idea!  I feel like the gap between the wig and the head is large enough for me to slip a few fingers in. Ugh, what in the world?!?!  I question the sanity of anybody who walks to the mailbox with that rug on their head- much less go on VH1 for all the world to see.   Gesh, Raven!  She also thinks she was put on this earth to host a new age talk show, so that may further prove my insanity claim. 

Too bad Raven decided to leave the show after only one episode.  I was hoping I could have a weekly segment documenting the journey of her coif!

PS- Why does Heather think she is such a rockstar?!  She looked like the biggest mess out of all of those ladies, and THAT is saying A LOT!  She looked like a clown/tranny/old lady who sits in her attic putting all her jewelry on.  I don't even know where you buy clothes like that.  I guess that's probably a good thing for me.  Oh, and I can't forget the hair and makeup.  Seriously, Heather?!  Anyways, Heather looked like a wreck.  I just had to say it. 
 

Just Sayin'- Aubrey O'Day looks different...

I haven't watched Making The Band since the season 2 (I think) finale, where Diddy selected the girls who'd later make up girl group Danity Kane.  Aubrey O'Day was one of two girls who got to stick around after season 1 and eventually ended up "making the band." 

When I used to follow the show, I thought Aubrey was cute.  She was one of my favorites.  However, when the DK album came out, I lost interest.  It sucked.  So I didn't think about Aubrey or Danity Kane for a long time.  Plus, I didn't want to watch the following Making the Band seasons, because Diddy makes me want to jump off a building.  Seriously, he's so annoying! 

Well, this morning I had some time to kill before going to work.  I plopped down on the sofa, and I switched on the TV.  Shockingly, it was set to MTV.  Making the Band was on.  I'm guessing whatever episode it was came from the most recent season.  They were all in Cabo trying to get some guy to conquer his fear of dolphins.

Suddenly, Aubrey came on the screen and she looked DIFFERENT!  It was apparent that she'd had breast implants, but her face looked weird too.  Then I couldn't tell if maybe she'd just gained weight in her face, and that is why it was looking funny- or if she'd had work done on it.

Okay, let's cut to the chase (as they say in the business world- Thanks Helen Hunt!-p.s. I'm sure NOBODY got that).  Here is Aubrey before:

 

This is when she's all natural looking, I guess.  It's before she was actually SELECTED to be a part of the band.  It's when I thought she still looked cute.  She kind of looks like Sheryl Crow.

 

Still looks pretty, but different.

This is the 2nd album cover.  I think she looks totally different from the 1st photo.  Now we will get to the unrecognizable...

 

She looks like a mix between Daisy from Rock of Love and a fish.

 

Poor doggie!

   

BAH!  TANOREXIC!!!!

 

Just not good!

 

Looks different to me!

 

And here she is again.  Yes, all of these photos feature the same woman.  PS- I won't even comment on her attire in these photos. 

So yeah, I know that nobody cares about Aubrey O'Day, but it was just on my mind.  And once something dumb like this is on my mind, I get a little OCD and it's all I can think about.  That's part of the reason I started this blog!  But yeah.  Am I the only one who thinks she looks totally funny now?  Seriously, if you get a chance (well, def don't change your plans for this but...) tune into Making the Band to see how wonky she looks.  Apparently, she is getting thrown out of the band now, so that could make for a juicy episode. These pictures don't even do what I saw on the tube this morning justice.

Just Sayin'- Kayley Gable

Okay, I'll admit it- I watched the first two episodes of Paris Hilton's My New BFF(and I'll probably watch each and every episode in the future).  I guess I just have an affinity for quality television.  Even if I do have questionable taste when it comes to the tube, I still have a point to make.  That point is this:

Above, is a photograph of Kayley Gable.  She is a contestant on Paris Hilton's show, and she's also the granddaughter of Clark Gable.  Besides that, she's also the house party animal.  According to her bio, she's already been to rehab.  At least she's trying to make positive changes!

Now, how old do you think Kayley is?  Here's another photo to jog your noodle:

 

Well Paris is 27, and Kayley certainly looks older than her, you might think.  Perhaps she's 32 or maybe 29 at the youngest?

EEHHHH!!!!!!!!  WRONG ANSWER!  Kayley is 22!  In fact, she JUST turned 22 on the other night's episode!  So on episode 1, she was only 21!  Wow!  What a spring chicken! 

Let's take a look at some other people Kayley's age:

 

Ashley Tisdale is 23!  A whole year older! 

 

Amanda Bynes is 22!  Lookin' good, girl!

 

Michelle Trachtenberg is also 22!  She looks so young!  So fresh faced!

 

Here's LC in her signature pose.  Overlooking the fact that she is an annoying life ruiner, she is 22 and bangin'.

 

And finally, we have Leighton Meester who is 22.  She looks gorg! 

 

Oh yeah!  And here's Kayley again.  Ripe young 22!  Just sayin'....

Go to her myspace for more hotness!

Drew Barrymore in CoverGirl TruBlend Commercial

Drew Barrymore is in the commercial for CoverGirl's TruBlend.  Every time I watch it, I get the feeling that Drew might've hit the Mystic one too many times before the filming.  Last night, the ad came on when I was watching TV with Jen and Kitty.  Wondering if I was alone in my opinions, I asked them if they thought something looked not quite right with Drew. 

"OHMIGOSH, YESSSSSSS!"  Jen shouted.  Turns out that she has always thought her skin looks weird too.  I'm not alone in this.  Although, not everyone agrees. Katie thinks it is just my TV.  I beg to differ.

Besides looking over-bronzed, Drew's skin looks totally blotchy!  What were the commercial people thinking?  Did they look at her face when they were editing the film?  I mean, it's a commercial for foundation, so the skin is the number one most important thing in the advertisement!  I can't believe they let this go on air!   Her hair and her face are virtually the same color! And her lips too! Don't even get me started on the pucker!  You can hardly tell where her mouth begins or ends.  She is one big monochromatic mug!

Maybe I'm over-dramatic.  It just irritates me that her skin looks so crazy in an advertisement for foundation- a foundation celebrated for it's blending powers, no less! Did something go wrong during the shoot, and they had no time to fix it?!  Did Drew fall victim to an inexperienced airbrusher?  What in the world?!

You be the judge, and let me know what you think!:

Dylan Mckay

On last night's episode of 90210, it was revealed that Dylan Mckay (Luke Perry) is the father of Kelly's baby.  YES!  I was rooting for this. 

Now, I don't really like the new 90210.  The old characters are the only reason I watch.  I will probably quit watching it soon if they don't put more focus on them.  The new characters are corny.  It would be one thing if they were so corny and over-the-top that it was silly, but they're not.  They're just boring.  I think Naomi should develop a drug problem, then I might like the show better.  It needs more angst!

All that thinking of 90210, got me remembering how much I loved Dylan Mckay.  Gosh, he was really the quintessential tortured male teenager (with Jordan Catalano in a close second)...and so good looking, as I'm sure you can tell just by glancing at the photo of him in his poncho/baja.  I'm so glad he's the father.  Maybe he will come back for some appearances in the new season.  Otherwise, he'd just be a deadbeat dad, and nobody wants that!

You can get Dylan Mckay's complete biography on Wikipedia.  Here are some of my favorite highlights:

• The mistreated son of a morally bankrupt business tycoon (and senator) Jack McKay and hippie ex-wife Iris McKay, Dylan starts the series with a reputation for being a dangerous loner.  (I like the terms "hippie ex-wife" and "dangerous loner."  I've always had an affinity to the term "loner with a reputation.")
• With Brenda in Paris, Dylan starts spending a lot of time with Kelly by helping her babysit her little sister and entering a doubles beach volleyball tournament with her. (I just like the image of a "dangerous loner" entering a doubles beach volleyball tournament.)
• Yet, he continues in his downward spiral, until his friends hold an intervention. He agrees to go to rehab, but checks out after only one day. He then loads up on drugs and gets into a life-threatening car wreck, where (while fighting for his life) he has a series of dream about his innocent half-sister Erica, and realizes that he must clean himself up in order to save her from her evil mother Suzanne and Suzanne's partner-in-crime Kevin. (This is just all very dramatic!  I remember the dream Dylan had when he'd "[loaded] up on drugs."  That was CLASSIC over-the-top cheesy 90210.)
• Dylan returns to Beverly Hills towards the beginning of the ninth season, apparently because he misses his home and friends, although he admits to Kelly that he misses her especially. He also relapses and is once again on heroin (however, all references to his alcoholism are absent and he is frequently seen drinking alcoholic beverages in casual, social situations). After failing to win Kelly back, he starts dating the new bad girl Gina Kincaid, despite obviously still being in love with Kelly. (DRAMA, DYLAN!  The heroin probably didn't help his chances winning Kelly back.)

Anyways, I just love Dylan.  If he comes back, and they delete all the new characters from the show (except for Naomi - who should develop a drug problem and be subjected to an intervention led by Dylan.  Maybe the two could somehow have a tough-love relationship with underlying tones of sexual tension, which could never be acted upon due to the extreme age difference.), the show will be great.  I'd watch that every week!

VMA Coverage: P!nk

I just felt the need to remind everybody how great Pink looked during her VMA performance last night.  I love her!  I had a slight obsession around junior year of high school (when her Missundaztood album was out), and I think it might be resurfacing.  Anyways, maybe I'll chill out with the celebrity gossip after this one.....maybe...

So check out the photos!  You can click them to make them larger!

VMA Coverage: Stream of Consciousness

Number 1: Demi Moore is super-human. She looks even younger and better than she did right after all her plastic surgery! 

Number 2: Russell Brand is my new obsession. His intense stares are genius. I�ve actually been watching YouTube videos of him lately. I guess I�ve watched too many, because when I have thoughts inside my head, I hear them in a male�s thick British accent.

Number 3: Kevin Volchek from The OC is in the cast of Twilight! I seriously can�t wait for that movie.

Number 4: The singer in Paramore has a better live singing voice than any of the other performers. It sounds just like the recording. She also has cute yellow jeans.

Number 5: I can�t stand Miley Cyrus.  I want to wipe that face off her mug!

Number 6: PINK IS SO HOT! She�s never looked better! She can really pull off a LEOTARD! In my opinion, her performance is the best so yet!  Carey Hart eat your heart out!

Number 7: I can't wait for the Numa Numa song to come out on T.I.'s new CD!

Number 8: Christina Aguilera�s song was excellent!

Number 9: Britney won again!

Number 10: I am so sick of this Kidd Rock song, Summertime.  The lyrics REALLY irritate me.  I hate when people rhyme the same word.  For example, the song goes "we were trying different things/ and we were smoking funny things."  THINGS THINGS THINGS.  I'm sorry.  This is my number one pet peeve!  He could have said, "we were trying different things/ and we were blowing smoke rings."  I know my suggestion is wack, but ANYTHING would be better than rhyming things with things.  Ok, whatever.  I'm done.

Number 11: Britney won AGAINNNNNNNNNNNN!

VMA Coverage: Britney Spears and Rihanna Open!

Well, Britney Spears did a little skit with Jonah Hill to open the show.  She looked great!  When she was making her way to the stage I got goosebumps!  Everybody was cheering!  What a great moment!  I wanted to cry tears of joy!  I LOVE BRITNEY, and I can sense her big comeback coming any day now.  I can't wait for her next album.  AND SHE JUST WON A VMA FOR BEST FEMALE VIDEO!

Anyways, Rihanna preformed after that.  It seemed like it would be good with all those crazy glowsticks, but it was kind of lackluster.  She didn't sound great.  She also had a rat-tail/mullet coif (haha- good use of the word of the day). I find this hairstyle worrysome. I LOVE RIHANNA!  She is one of my favorites, but this just wasn't very amazing. 

I just mostly wanted to say that I love Britney!  AMERICA'S SWEETHEART REIGNS AGAIN!

VMA Coverage: Katy Perry's Bunchie Britches!

Oh, it's a lovely Sunday night.  I'm not doing anything, so I figured I'd cover the VMAs for y'all!   I'm sure you're thrilled.

So, the first item that struck me as news-worthy was Katy Perry's outfit.  First of all, it is kind of fug.  That is besides the point though.  I mean, Taylor Swift's outfit might have been worse.  I just don't care about that kind of thing! 

What was disturbing about Katy's outfit were her hot pants.  They were all bunchie!  Anybody who knows me, knows how I feel about saggy bunchie britches!  Katy's weren't saggy, but the corset was all bunched up in her FUPA!  Now, if she had on a darker colored pair of shorts, this issue could have been avoided.  Unfortunately, she didn't.  Sorry Katy!  I love your song, Thinking of You, and I think it's great that you got your outfit at a thrift store!  I just don't think the flesh colored panty pants were the best choice! 

Lauren Conrad's Words of Wisdom: Episode - Boys Make Girls Cry

"Don't ever cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you."

Gosh, I got shivers!

The new 90210 got the tattoo wrong! --- I'm pretty sure.

I posted earlier about the girls on 90210 getting tattoos when they were in 8th grade.  After I wrote that, I went looking online to see if anybody else had thought it was weird.  I didn't really find anybody who was shocked by them being so young, but I did find a few people who said that the tattoo was NOT the Chinese symbol for friendship (like they said in the show). 

Because I know that inquiring minds want to know, I went back to look at the tattoo from the show.  Here it is:

 

Now this is what keeps coming up when I Google Chinese symbol for friendship:

Does NOT look the same to me!  Anyways, this post probably indicates that I have too much free time on my hands.  Either way, I wonder what the show's tattoo actually means.  I'm also curious if the girls will have that tattoo every time they wear a bathing suit or something.  It's really and unfortunate tattoo, and I wouldn't think the producers would make such a fugly marking permanent- but tattoos ARE forever...unless they introduce laser removal into the plot line.

Anyways, I'll never get a tattoo in another language.  With my luck, I'd get one that was supposed to say "I love you," and it would really say "MOVE IT ASSHAT!"

Life's Little Riddles:New 90210 & 8th Graders With Tattoos

I caught the first ever episode of the new 90210.  I must say, it was pretty good.  I don't really see it living up to Gossip Girl (by the way, I'm dying for Chuck and Blair to get together), but I will definitely be setting my DVR to record each week during the allotted time slot.

Anyways, my beef with 90210 is this:

Naomi is one of the most popular girls in high school.  She is having her "not so sweet 16" in the first episode.  Thus making her 15 at the start of the 2 hour screening.  Later on in the show, Naomi bends over and subsequently reveals a small tattoo on her lower back.

I thought, Geezzz, a tattoo at 16 is kinda bizarre, but HEY they're in the 90210!  People are nuts out there!  Her parents probably got it for her on her 16th birthday.  That is what I thought.  I mean, her mom on the show was kind of a crazy lady and there are parents who try to be all hip and get their kids bellybutton rings on their 16th.  Stupid, but whatever!  I accepted it, and I moved on.

But later on in the show, Silver (the edgy blogger) bends over and has the same exact tattoo as Naomi  When asked about the ink, Silver discloses that the tattoo is the Chinese symbol for friendship.  Apparently, she and Naomi used to be best friends until Naomi betrayed her in the 8th grade. 

Now unless I am missing something, I would assume that they got the tattoos before the friendship was severed...which was in 8th grade.  I was waiting for some kind of explaination as to how the girls got tattoos at 12 or 13 years old, but I my ears never recieved their answer! 

Why do these teenage melodramas have these kids doing completely rediculas things.  I'd just finally accepted that the tweens on Gossip Girl go to bars and order Cosmos in their school uniforms.  Now I'm being forced to believe that somebody agreed to permanently etch tramp stamps on two middle schoolers.  GESH! 

I guess I'll move on.  I'm not going to loose any sleep at night over this.  I just wanted to put it out there and see if anybody else found that odd.  I mean, who knows what kind of awful tat I would have picked out in the 8th grade- probably a peace sign or a mushroom....or a fairy (actually, it probably WOULD have been a fairy).  OH WOW!  Anyways, I'm done.

PS I really do not watch that much TV.  I'm just excited about the new Fall line up! 

The Hills Parody SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS!

I know I'm on a Hills kick, but whatever.  Go ahead and judge me.  These youtube videos are HYSTERICAL!  Watch them for a good laugh!

Lauren Conrad's Words of Wisdom: Episode- We'll Never Be Friends

LC is so wise. She gives such great advice,has really amazing insights and can convey any emotion with just a look; anybody would be fortunate to have her as a friend. BUT- most of us don�t live in The Hills, and we aren�t lucky enough to be guided by her clever Lauren-isms firsthand.  So, I�m bringing some of Lauren�s most astute moments to the inter-web. Even if you�re not interested in the show, you can learn a lot from LC. Read on and let Lauren's words counsel you:

This scene takes place at a restaurant.  LC is on a date with Doug, a long lost friend from high school.

Waiter: Can I get you something to drink?
LC: Can I get a Fuzzy Dragon please?
Waiter: A Fuzzy Dragon.
Doug: What kind of beer do you have?
Waiter: [inaudible]
Doug: I�ll have that. I�ll have Stella.
LC: [smiles coyly to waiter] Thank you. [To Doug] I think your drink says a lot about you.
Doug: So what does a beer say about me?
LC: That you�re a guys� guy.
Doug: Is that a good thing?
LC: [leans head on hand, smiles wistfully and shrugs shoulders] Mhmm.

WOW!  BRILLIANT!  I wonder what a Fuzzy Dragon says about Lauren!?!?

Lauren Conrad's Words of Wisdom: Episode- We'll Never Be Friends

LC is so wise. She gives such great advice,has really amazing insights and can convey any emotion with just a look; anybody would be fortunate to have her as a friend. BUT- most of us don’t live in The Hills, and we aren’t lucky enough to be guided by her clever Lauren-isms firsthand.  So, I’m bringing some of Lauren’s most astute moments to the inter-web. Even if you’re not interested in the show, you can learn a lot from LC. Read on and let Lauren's words counsel you:

This scene takes place at a restaurant.  LC is on a date with Doug, a long lost friend from high school.

Waiter: Can I get you something to drink?
LC: Can I get a Fuzzy Dragon please?
Waiter: A Fuzzy Dragon.
Doug: What kind of beer do you have?
Waiter: [inaudible]
Doug: I’ll have that. I’ll have Stella.
LC: [smiles coyly to waiter] Thank you. [To Doug] I think your drink says a lot about you.
Doug: So what does a beer say about me?
LC: That you’re a guys’ guy.
Doug: Is that a good thing?
LC: [leans head on hand, smiles wistfully and shrugs shoulders] Mhmm.

WOW!  BRILLIANT!  I wonder what a Fuzzy Dragon says about Lauren!?!?

Joshua Wins on SYTYCD! (and I think I'm in love...)

So Joshua won!  I'm so happy.  Even though I loved Mark, I think Josh was my favorite male dancer.  And it turns out that I've developed a huge crush on him.  Too bad he is only 19.  I'm getting so old!  Althoughhh, Linda Hogan is like 49 and SHE'S going out with a 19 year old...  But maybe she's not the best person to aspire to? 

BUT, if I cannot have Joshua for myself, I think he and Katee should get together.  They are so cute with one another...especially when he gave her a little kiss during the Bollywood routine!  I love them!  Plus, she is more of his age, and she already knows him- so it just makes more sense that they date.

WHY can't they come to Raleigh on tour?  I am seriously considering going to Charlotte. 

Anyways, I'm VERY glad that Joshua won.  He was amazing!  I really enjoyed the dance he and Katee did last night to "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room."  It was choreographed by Wade Robson.  Josh is so strong!  So hot!  Ahh.  I'm ridiculous.  Either way, I am posting it as a tribute to his win:

Farewell, Chelsie Hightower & Mark Kanemura (SYTYCD)

Tonight on So You Think You Can Dance, my two favorite dancers got the ax.  America sent home Chelsie and Mark.  I loved Mark, but I can kind of see why he was eliminated.  He was just so fun and quirky! I couldn't help but love him. 

However, I am completely BAFFLED as to why Chelsie is leaving.  She was the best.  She should have won the entire show.  She was cute, fun, sexy, and a great dancer.  And let's not forget that she was REALLY good at getting into character and showing emotion through dance.  And with that hot red dress she had on last night, how could she loose?  I suspect foul play.

I'm in shock, and so is Jen.  We were dumbstruck as Cat announced the results.  We thought Courtney was going to be sent packing tonight for sure, but we certainly were wrong.  America's voting sucks.  I wish they would let the judges keep voting.  Although, if they did that, Will would probably still be around ... But either way, Chelsie should not be going home.

Oh well.  I know the future holds wonderful things for both Chelsie and Mark.  I'm coming to terms with the fact that they are all great dancers at this point, and it's really anybody's game.  I guess, now I'm rooting for Joshua all the way.  By the way, he looks great without the braces.  I just love him.

I really wish that the SYTYCD  tour was coming to Raleigh and NOT Charlotte.  I'm tempted to drive there to see it, but I'm afraid that driving three hours to see the cast preform would make me a creepy, pathetic weirdo.  But maybe not, I mean it is dance, so that's like performance...  Whatever.  Maybe they will add some tour dates.

Ode to Mariah Carey's TRL Ice Cream Meltdown 2001

Today I got to thinking how random it is that Mariah Carey married Nick Cannon.  He seems totally average, and she is like a mega-diva who wears outdated clothing and sunglasses when she's inside.  I was commenting on this to my roommate, and all of a sudden, I remembered my favorite Mariah moment.   Well, it is actually probably the only Mariah moment that ever had any sort of impact on my life.  I haven't really been a big fan since "Always Be My Baby."

The moment I recalled is this: It's 2001,and am in 10th grade.  I've probably just come home from school and am eating a snack in front of the TV, which is playing TRL (a show that I never paid much attention to, yet always seemed to be on in High School). Carson Daily is about to cut to a commercial, when all of a sudden Mariah Carey bursts onto the set with an ice cream cart, wearing an oversized T-shirt.  She begins acting crazy, and Carson is obviously caught off guard.

I remember thinking, What is the world is going on?  Did they plan this?  I think Mariah may be insane...Now remember, this is long before the BHS (Britney Head Shave), so the clip might seem tame in comparison with some of the events the public has witnessed since its airing.  Regardless, I find it highly entertaining.  My favorite quote from the segment is, "Every now and then, somebody needs a little therapy, and today is that moment for me.  Everything's great!  Hello!"

Enjoy:

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

Cystex: Girl on the Go

I was looking up information on the internet, the TV on in the background.  I wasn't paying attention to what was on, until a concentrated monotone voice called out to me.  I looked up.  A snaggle-toothed woman in a jean jacket stared from the screen, speaking intensely (and hardly pausing between sentences) from her cubicle. 

They called me "The Girl on the Go," I went to the bathroom so often.  Frequent burning urination!  There!  I said it!  Cystex, with its double action doctor recommended formula, fights the pain and helps control infection.  Only Cystex!  Take it from an "Ex Girl on the Go," Cystex works!

Yikes!  She doesn't kid around.  Props to her for speaking up about such an uncomfortable issue in front of all her coworkers.

Visit Cystex's website here!

Next: Third Enstallment

I'm Nate.  I'm 21.  I'm a future chiropractor, so you know I like it KINKYYYY!!! [squeezes fists in front of chest and thrusts hips]

I'm Alex.  I'm 22, and I can SALSA DANCE [does cha cha move]....but this girl's salsa better not be chunky!

I'm Brittany.  I'm 18, and if this guy wants the OTHER Britney before she turned into a pear-shaped mess, then I'm it!

I'm Alexis.  I'm 21, and if this guys hot, I'll get a little horny for 'em! [squeezes hand in the air and makes very realistic honking noise]

I'm MiMi.  I love Oktoberfest, so I need a guy that can handle the sausage!

I'm Stevland.  I'm 20, and this girl is gonna pick me just so she can she she hanged out with a guy named Stevland!

I'm kellen.  I'm 25, and I really hope I get off that bus before my body beard starts to grow back...

I'm Brett.  I'm 18, and I'll win cuz I'm an Irish step dancer with a pot of gold in my manties!  {hops around in jig fashion]

I'm Jarvis.  I'm 23, and I'm a home repairman- so you know I'll wink at this girl with my butt crack

I'm Erik.  I'm 20, and I dance ballet.  I can't WAIT to get this girl into first position!

Hillbillies in a Tent

I like to watch Jerry Springer at lunch (a guilty pleasure, I guess).  It is really a hilarious show.  The other day, the topic was "Hillbillies in a Tent."  Here is a synopsis of the show from The Jerry Springer Show's website:

"Drunkin' nights in a tent! Jake is married to Crystal but wants to be with Ashley! Jake likes to get drunk with Ashley and sleep with her in her tent! Crystal wants Jake to stop sleeping with Ashley and come back to her!"

So, it is almost impossible for me to describe how funny this was.  Jake seemed like the dumbest person on the planet.  He was happy with Crystal before they had the baby, when all they would do was go out and get drunk.  Gosh!  I wish I had recorded this show, so I could remember exactly what he said. 

Here is a short clip I found on YouTube.  I will have to work on finding more, so you can really get the idea.

And if you want a taste more, go to Jerry's WEBSITE to see their snippet.

Bring Bravo to Raleigh

Please click here to sign my petition.  I am trying to get 1000 signatures to present to Time Warner Cable so that they will bring the Bravo network to Raleigh!  We want justice!

Maury Povich makes me laugh really hard!

I was at home for lunch, channel surfing while I stomached my Smart Ones Macaroni (not their best dish), and I was lucky enough to catch a HILARIOUS moment of Maury Povich.  Keep in mind that I was just flipping through the stations, so I'm not exactly sure if I got the names right (in fact, I just made a name up for the girl).  I think it may have actually been a wrap-up of the show that had just aired.  Here is what I saw:

Maury: ...All of a sudden, Tonya finds a shirt covered in mysterious stains!
Tonya:  I believe that they had sex in MY BATHROOM!
Audience: [Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!]
Maury: Cecil  claims the stains came from toaster strudel....
[flashes to Cecil backstage]
Cecil: It's nothing more than toaster strudel...
Maury: [voiceover as the credits role] Amy forgave Cecil for the sake of the children, but says she will never look at toaster strudel the same way again.