Cliff Pant-one

I'm Examining Reality TV!

 

Hey!  Just wanted to let y'all know that I'm writing for Examiner.com.  I'm Raleigh's Reality TV Examiner!  Pretty perfect, right?  Sooo, click here to check out my page!  I'm JUST starting, but keep checking back for updates.  Or better yet, SUBSCRIBE!!! I'll be covering a lot of MTV, VH1, Bravo, E!, Oxygen and duh- So You Think You Can Dance.

Just Sayin' - Songs That Cliff Wishes Had Never Been Written

I love music, but there are some songs that I just cannot deal with.  When they come on in the supermarket, I run for the door.  I really do.  Lucky for you, I'm going to give you a list of these horrid ditties.  This way, you can start campaigning that your local radio stations take them off their play list immediately.  The sooner we get started, the sooner we'll be free to browse for melons without the fear of tasteless music lingering in the back of our minds.  Here goes:

1.  London Bridge by Fergie
    The first time I heard this song, I was in awe.  I was in awe that it was considered a song.  I was in awe that a radio station agreed to play it.  I was in awe that anybody liked it.  When I heard people talk about what a good song it was, I was literally stunned.  I would ask them to explain to me why they liked the song.  It was just THAT shocking to me.  On top of the general crappiness of the song, Fergie kind of slur/whines throughout the entire thing which is really annoying. 

2.  Single Ladies by Beyonce
    This song makes me insane.  I've never been a big Beyonce fan (although I do really like her song Halo).  I can't say much about this tune other than it's just annoying.  It also seems to contradict Beyonce's strong independent woman persona.  Point is- I could do without this song (and that's putting it mildly).

3.  Anything by Creed or Hinder
    No explanation is necessary.  Anybody who disagrees might be a robot.

4.  Bubbly by Colby Calet
    I have a feeling that a lot of girls like this song, but I cannot stand it.  It's so corny.  The entire song makes me cringe.  Example: "Every time I see your bubbly face I get the tinglies in a silly place."  That is an actual lyric.  If you're not cringing, you are most likely a robot.

5.  Love Song by Sarah Bareilles
    The main thing that's annoying about this song is Sarah's voice.  Her voice has this irritating purr to it when she belts out, "I'm not gonna write you a loooveee songgg."  It was on some commercial, and it drove me insane.  The lyrics are also bothersome.  She doesn't want to write this guy a love song, because he asked her to.  So now she's writing a song about not wanting to write him a song.  Honestly, I wish she'd never written it at all.

6.  Summer Time by Kid Rock
    The most annoying element to this song is when Kid says, "We were trying different things, and we were smoking funny things."  Why does he rhyme "things" with "things?"  Can't he think of any other word?!  It drives me nutty when people do that.  I really don't think I'd mind the song that much if he changed that lyric.  But for some reason, that ONE "THING" ruins the entire song for me.

7.  Damaged by Danity Kane
    I just do not like this song.  "How ya gonna fix it fix it fix it?"  It just pokes at my nerves.  If that song comes on when I'm in the tanning bed, I turn off the radio.  I'd rather bake in silence, and that's saying a lot.

So yes.  My idea of hell is being shut in a room and having to listen to these songs on a mix cd.  On repeat.  For all eternity.

So get your pens scribbling chillins.  Petition your local stations!

What Do You Call A Pacifier?

 

As you read further, you will see that a lot has been weighing on my mind this morning.  I've been thinking about pacifiers (like the one pictured above).  There are so many different names for them.  WHY?!  IT'S PANDEMONIUM!!!

I have always called the above a binky.  To some people, it's a paci.  Now paci (pronounced PASS-EY) sounds creepy to me.  Maybe my mind is in the gutter, but I don't like that word.  I'm sticking with binky.

Some people call it a bo-bo or a nu-nu.  Why?  I'm not sure.  Maybe their kids aren't advanced enough to have perfectly polished their pronunciation of 'pacifier,' 'binky' or 'paci' (the 'c' sound can be hard some times).  My guess is that parents who call pacifiers anything besides 'binky'or 'paci' are real overachiever types.  Maybe they like to think of themselves as real creative or leaders rather than followers.  They're the type that fancy themselves on "straying from the crowd."   They don't want to call the pacifier some typical name.  They want to call it a do-do or a loo-ha or a hee-haw.  They are the same people who would never settle for calling grandparents Grams or Gramps.  Forget about Gramma and Grandpa.  They might even resist Me-Maw and Pe-Paw (which I don't really blame them). 

Either way, I just wanted to write this out to reflect on the names of pacifiers.  Maybe I've shed some light on the subject?

Post Secret @ Duke University

Last night, Meg and I went to see a presentation given by Post Secret creator Frank Warren.  For those of you who don't know about Post Secret, it is a project where people send their secrets to Frank on postcards.  The secret has to be something that you've never told anybody.  Most people decorate their cards with detailed artwork.  The postcards are displayed on the Post Secret blog, in books and in art exhibits.

Anyways, the presentation was very good.  Frank was an amazing speaker.  He had the voice of a man of the theater!  He was witty and eloquent!  He told about the history of Post Secret, shared "secret secrets," and then opened up the audience to share secrets of their own.  I was pretty surprised at how many people actually volunteered to share such personal stories with an auditorium full of strangers.  I will not tell any of their secrets, because they are secrets...duh.

Soooooooo.  It was a pretty good event.  I'm really glad I went, because whenever I read Frank's blog and see the list of tour dates at the bottom, I always wonder what attending one would be like.  I recommend going if one ever comes to you.

Now that that is out of the way, I have a word of advise to anybody who might be attending a performance at Duke University's Page Auditorium: do not sit on the balcony.  There is less leg room than an airplane.  There is less leg room than at a football game.  There is less leg room than you would have if you were sitting in a cardboard box.  My feet were falling asleep the entire time.  Those crazy Dukies!  They must have designed the auditorium in the olden days, back when people were not eating growth hormones in their McDonald's, making the average human much smaller.

So yes!  The night was a success!  It made me want to send in a secret, but have such a big mouth that I don't have any.  Great!

A Cyber Valentine to All My Readers: I LOVE YOU!!!

 

I took this photo so you would all know that I LOVE YOU!!!  Have a marvelous VD tomorrow!!!

Frozen in Time: Best Moments of MY 2008 (month by month)

Because I know you all want to get a good hard look at these, you can click on all the photos to make them bigger!

January

 

     

This is when Katie and I visited Amy in New Orleans.  One of the best parts of our stay was when we dressed up as 80s hair band members and watched Rock of Love (and as the photo shows, we also watched Scott Baio is 45 and Pregnant).

February

 

 

I bought this sweet little ride in February.  It's a Subaru Impreza.  I bought it based on looks and safety, but it turns out that it's also some kind of race car and men are drawn to it.  They flock to me now (the men...).

March

 

 

I spent the entire month of March watching my roommate fret over Britney Spears' every move.  And in a bit of an Amy Winehouse inspired moment, I also did some frantic outdoor night exercises.

April:

April was the month that I finally saw Bret Michaels in person.  That is the moment I realized what all the fuss is about (with the girls on his show all falling in love with him).  He is one smooth talker!  The way he wooed the crowd!  Don't even get me started.  There were also tons of bitchy girls there in the audience who kept pushing me.  Then I got feisty and pushed back.  And then later on, I felt guilty about it. 

May:

 

In whatever month this is, Kitty and me went to the Kanye West/Rihanna concert.  At this concert, in an attempt to save money from buying drinks inside, I drank too much beer in the parking lot and in turn, was only tempted to keep drinking beer inside (where I met a 21 year old drifter wearing jean shorts, and let me say, I was quite taken by him), which led to me being too drunk to operate a car and having to take take a taxi home.

Also in this month, as you can see, I went to the beach with the prossies and got a tattoo. It's some real classly ink.  Okay...Relax! It's just a temp!

June:

 

June held almost too many fun moments, so I had to settle on one, or I would never be able to stop!  This is when Jen, Larry and I went to Waffle House.  I wasn't sure if Larry would want his face broadcasted over my internets, so I covered it up for him.  I'm not sure he'd handle the celeb status with as much grace as I have.  Either way, this trip to WH was tops!  Especially when I shouted the F word too loud, and some lady with her kids gave me the death stare, which in turn, encouraged us to leave pronto.  Later on, I felt like maybe I wasn't the bad guy in that situation.  I mean, anybody taking six year olds to WH is just asking for foul language...and a sprinkle of childhood obesity.

July:

 

I went to Las Vegas in July.  While there, I drank too much, and in turn, probably had the most fun of anybody in our group.  Although the drinking also resulted in me almost falling off a VIP booth and onto a glass table.  ALMOST! 

A LOT of other stuff happened in July too, but like in June, I had to narrow it down to one! Plus, this blog post is getting kind of long, and I need to take a shower!

 Actually, I do need to take a shower!  Now you will just have to wait in suspense for Best Moments of MY 2008 Part TWO!!!  Don't hold your breath! 

Have a safe New Year!

Misty Water Colored Memories: Chris Klein's Douche-Baggie Elle Interview

I saw something online about Chris Klein today, and it made me think of this old interview of him I read in Elle Magazine.  It was probably about 2005 or something when the article came out.  Either way, I remember reading it and thinking to myself, Wow!  I can't believe the words coming out of this guys mouth.  He's got to be the biggest ass-clown on the face of the earth. 

I've dug up the interview:

ELLE: If you could play only one album to woo women, what would it be?

CHRIS KLEIN: I've been lucky enough that I don't need music for that.

ELLE: Is there a dish that you prepare to impress women?

CK: I don't need food to impress, man. It's a flash of a smile and a nice conversation. And at the end of the day, she's cooking the food.

ELLE: What's the one thing you could tell a woman to convince her that you aren't Paul, the thick jock you played in Election?

CK: Hello.

ELLE: This would convince her?

CK: Absolutely. You start making eyes across the room. Right then it's not a Paul Metzler situation. It's a predator-prey situation.

ELLE: Have you always been this confident?

CK: I grew into myself fairly late. The first girl I was ever with, you know, kissing and getting blow jobs, I was a freshman in high school and she was a senior. And she was hot too, by the way.

ELLE: When would have been a better time to start? Fifth grade?

CK: It's just that right at that moment, I didn't really get it. But she showed me the ropes, and I took it from there.

ELLE: Is there a common misconception that you feel you need to correct when you're with a woman?

CK: If there is and they don't get it right away, they're gone.

ELLE: Is there anything you don't want women to learn about you?

CK: Nothing. I don't have many secrets. At the same time, I stay very closed off until a woman deserves to know me completely.

ELLE: Isn't it tough for a woman to figure you out if you won't talk?

CK: Hey, man, I'm not here to hold hands and babysit. She's got to come to the table with something.

ELLE: Any weaknesses in relationships?

CK: Trying to control the situation. You have to give her enough credit to let her take the reins once in a while. But if it's a two-week spark-off, f--k it. Have a blast and fizzle out. It can be just as fun.

ELLE: How do you extricate yourself from these “spark-offs”?

CK: I don't placate. I tell 'em straight up.

ELLE: Let's pretend we're dating. What do you say to get rid of me?

CK: You and I are definitely not dating. Role-playing is fun and all, but you're a dude and I'm an alpha heterosexual.

ELLE: You're an actor, for God's sake! Pretend.

CK: How hot are you?

ELLE: I'm a solid 7.5.

CK: I only date 8 to 10s.

ELLE: What's the worst thing a woman has ever said to you?

CK: "You're an asshole." The time it really hurt was when a stranger said it. I was just trying to tell this chick to get lost. I try to treat all women with respect whether they're pretty or ugly. I want to be nice and be like, "Wow, thanks for the attention. But get out of my face."

ELLE: Are you cool with it if a woman you like gains a few pounds?

CK: I'm not tolerant of that at all.

ELLE: So do you tell them to lose weight?

CK: When a woman isn't feeling good about herself and you combine that with her period, eventually she'll ask you if you like her body. You have to say no.

ELLE: Don't you think they're just looking for you to say, “You look beautiful to me, honey”?

CK: If they do, it's placating. I don't placate.

ELLE: Who's "the one that got away?"

CK: Every beautiful actress I've ever worked with. I've got this policy that you don't sleep with them; it complicates stuff. So it's the Heather Grahams, the Rebecca Romijns, the Mena Suvaris, and the Leelee Sobieskis of the world. They all got away.

ELLE: There's a lot on the Web about your being a devout Christian.

CK: That's because I went to Texas Christian University.

ELLE: So it's not as chaste as people might think?

CK: There you can be as dirty or as clean as you want to be. The ratio at TCU was three women to one man. It's an expensive school, full of daddy's little girls. I liked it when they called me Daddy. And they did, too, because they were all hungry.

ELLE: If you assembled all the women you've ever slept with in a room, what would they say about you?

CK: "We ended on good terms."

ELLE: If you had to commit to the number of women you'd like to sleep with before you marry, how many would it be?

CK: I think that for every dude the number is massive, and it just takes that one chick to punch you in the face, and all of a sudden you're walking down the aisle, whether you like it or not.

ELLE: Speaking of marriage, why did your engagement to Katie Holmes end?

CK: We both came to realize that it had run its course. We started dating when we were 20. We had an absolute ball, but we grew up. There's no reason to fight that.

ELLE: Do you feel like you'll ever be friends?

CK: Are we friends? Absolutely. Do we talk? No.

ELLE: Do you follow coverage of her engagement to Tom Cruise?

CK: No way. I've got fantasy football to play. 

Wow.  I guess freako Tom Cruise doesn't seem to bad compared with this winner.  I'm still unsure though...I mean, maybe he's joking.  I can't imagine he would actually say stuff like that.  Although, who would knowingly make such a jackass out of themselves in a major magazine for a laugh?  Has Klein even been in a movie lately?  Hmm.  He and Ginnifer Goodwin just broke up.  I wonder if he'll still be pulling in 10s?  He's not exactly the big C-Lister he used to be! 

I'd like to meet a firefighter.

I find it odd that I don't know any firefighters.  I just feel like I should know one.  So I posted this ad on Craigslist.

I'd like to meet a fire fighter please.

I'd like to meet a fire fighter between the ages of 24 and 34.  Preferably one from up north with a thick Bostonian accent.  

I am 24, and I look great.  I have a college degree and a job.  I'm hilarious, and I love to drink, so please respond if you fit the above description. 

I will need to see some sort of pay stub to prove that you're actually a fire fighter.  Also, please send photos

Thanks!

Of course, I would not really feel comfortable meeting some random person from Craigslist, but I just thought it was funny, and I wanted to see if anybody would respond.

Well, in a matter of hours I had like 15 replies.  Most were either boring or perverted.  One was very hateful.  Somebody was really pissed that I asked to see a pay-stub, and said that I'm making women look bad and that they hope the guy will punch me in the face with his thick Boston accent.  Gesh...I didn't know people took the Craiglist personals so seriously.  Take a joke, people.

One response was my favorite.  The guy attached a photo, but I feel like I should let him remain anonymous.  Here's what he said:

Hi,
 
Nice to meet you here. I am [name] 25 M india currently working in Raleigh as communications engineer and living near by [location] at a hotel . I am new to Raleigh feeling bored in week ends i lke to go out and party in week ends and may be like to be with you in home if you like and you can stay at my hotel room too.
 
I am 5.6 medium built ,kind honest looking for real friendship and more :)- if you like me :)-really i liked your post

i am basically from india if intrsted pls do call me @ 919 ***-****, we can meet if you are intrested .
 
I do not have car it will be gr8 if you have an car :)- looking forward to meet you darling

My favorite part is when he asks if I have a car.  Plus, I find it very endearing that this guy has offered to let me stay at his hotel without even seeing a photo of me...and being so forthcoming with his whereabouts and phone number.  Now, that's having a big heart.  I don't know if he is really as lonely as he says though.  In the photo he attached, there was a bed in the background with, what appeared to be, somebody's feet hanging off it.  I just hope he does find somebody to hang out with.  Oh!  I just realized that this guy isn't even a firefighter.  I must have skimmed over the communications engineer part.  Hmm.  Can't blame a guy for trying...I DID make myself sound pretty appealing in the ad.

Anyways, I took my post down a few minutes after gathering all my responses.  I didn't want to flood my inbox with porn and spam...or other further emails full of hateful insults! 

I guess my venture into the world of CL Personals was not a success, and I am positive that I will not take that route the next time I'm trying to meet a man in uniform.  I think I'll just loiter around the fire house up the street from me...or maybe I'll put my shih tzu in a tree, and call them to get her down.

Just Sayin': Lacey Conner = Ultimate Stain!

Lacey Conner is the most annoying person on the planet.  I want to throw telephone books at her head.  How is she still on Rock of Love Charm School?  She's like a roach that won't die (figuratively speaking, of course). Can't Sharon see that she is the devil?!  Or is she just still on for ratings?!  She makes me insane!!!  AHHHH!!! MY blood is boiling!  I can't believe Dallas got expelled.  Dallas should have beat Lacey up when she had the chance (since she ended up going home for nothing).  

Why is Lacey so annoying? 
1.  She acted like she was a starving artist when she really lived off her dad's money (and she's 32).
2.  She acts like she is 14, trying to play games and get in everybody's face (and she's 32).
3.  She has Hot Topic-esque dyed neon red hair (and she is 32).
4.  She harps and harps about animal rights and she eats SALMON!!!  (I don't even eat salmon!)
5.  She looks like a wet rat/white female version of Ja Rule.
6.  She thinks she's a rock star. 
7.  She is a master manipulator!

Typically, I try not to point out other peoples' bad points, but I think Lacey is the most annoying person on television (even more so than Gary Busey, Dustin Diamond, Dunbar from Real World, Neveen & Cordilla from Bad Girls Club, Spencer Pratt and Lauren Conrad combined).  I just can't help it.  I'm sure she would think it's fab that people hate her.  I bet she loves it. If you've seen her on TV, you know what I mean.  All I'm sayin' is that I'm going to quit watching the show if she's not expelled next week.  Oh wait, who am I kidding...I'll never quit. 

CLIFF NEEDS YOU!

Send your Daily Daggers, funny photos (it could be weirdos in the background or anything else silly) or anything else noteworthy to Cliff!  Email me for a chance for interweb fame!  Tell all your friends about www.cliffpant-one.com !!!

 

Halloween Costumes for Dogs

Being that I'm obsessed with Halloween costumes, I stumbled upon some get-ups for dogs.  These are so funny, but it's also kind of sad- the dogs look suicidal.  I am guilty of dressing Tyra up, but I take her out of the outfit if it's obvious that she's miserable in it.  I mean, she has a few dresses/hoodies that she really loves- really! 

So without further delay:

 

This dog might actually like the Yoda costume. 

   

This makes me laugh really hard! 

 

This one does NOT look thrilled!

 

This poor dog is supposed to be Kenny from South Park!

 

This dog looks better in her Wonder Woman costume than I do! Check out those stems!

 

This is a Hippie.  I just thought it was weird.

And here is a crazy looking dog nurse!

After compiling that, I have decided that Tyra will not be dressing up for Halloween.  Maybe I will get her a hoodie with a pumpkin on it or something.  She REALLY does love those, especially right after a  haircut!

Cringer Halloween Costumes Part Two

The "Sexual Innuendo" category has been covered.  Now we will move to the "Just Plain Absurd/Genius" group.  These costumes are funnier than the sexual ones, because they make no sense whatsoever.  Here we go:

 

This is Mr. Potato head.  I think it's a riot.  If I saw a guy wearing this at a party, I'd ask him to marry me.  It wouldn't even matter that I couldn't tell what he looked like.  The costume is THAT good.

 

Clearly, this is a gingerbread man costume.  I like how you can see the lady's glems coyly peeping through the mouth hole.  I'm considering forgetting my "Wonder Mary" outfit and sporting this instead.

 

I'm not sure why anybody would want to be a barrel of monkeys for Halloween.  This one is totally random.  Maybe they have monkey butt?

 

Okay!  I'm a total idiot.  At first, I thought this was a peace sign.  YEAH, I KNOW IT'S NOT!  Then I thought it was an I LOVE YOU sign!  WRONG AGAIN!  HOW DID I MISS THE OBVIOUS?!!?  It's THE SHOCKER- ONE OF MY FAVORITE HAND GESTURES!  Yeah, and this should probably go under the douchebag category, but it's already here.  I can't believe the make a costume of this.

 

This costume embodies my worst nightmare: being attacked by fowl!!!!!  Okay to be honest, my worst nightmare would balloons glued all over me, but this is a close second.

 

I actually kind of like this costume.  It's kind of cute.  It's just a little random though, and it kind of looks like she's wearing a headboard.

 

Yes, a toilet is a bizarre costume- mostly though, I want to point out this guy's great modeling job!  He's got raw talent!  Way to make a shitter look good!!!  Matter of fact, I think I have a new dream job: costume modeler!  I want to try all these on and look like a goof while getting my picture taken.  If anybody is hiring, let me know.

Cringer Halloween Costumes

I love dressing up for Halloween!  I've been scouring the internets for costumes, and it looks like I've stumbled upon a website that sells the most ridiculous assortment of outfits I've ever seen.   Costume Supercenter's website is like crack!  I couldn't stop looking.  I had to keep scrolling through until I'd seen every terrible costume there was!  I've picked some of my favorites to feature (and there are a lot- although, there were A TON more that I want to show, but that would take all day).  I've separated the costumes into two categories: "Sexual Innuendos" and "Just Plain Absurd/Genius."  Here we go...

"Sexual Innuendos"- These are pretty much costumes reserved for total douchebags.

This one is called "The Snake Charmer."  Awesome...  I'm kind of speechless.

This one is "Muff Diver."  Yes!   They went there!!!  They even have a picture of a CLAM on the scuba suit.  Now, that is genius!  I really wish I could read the line under the clam.  All I can make out is "Experience..." 

Here we have "Heart On Adult Costume."  It's a naked guy wearing a heart that says, "I've got a heart on!"  This is so bad that it's good.  The type of guy who'd wear this is one of those who thinks he's amazing, but all the girls are just laughing AT him...not WITH him. 

This tissue box exclaims "Blow Me."   I like how the tissue hat makes the guy look like The Flying Nun!

This might be my favorite.  It's titled "Country Lovin."  I've always been a fan of the inflatable ewe, so any costume that incorporates one is alright in my book.  I love how the ewe is wearing fishnet stocking on her back legs.  Hmmm.  Although amusing, this one is slightly disturbing.  Plus the model appears to weigh like 98 pounds.

I have SO many more, but I don't have time to post them all now.  CHECK BACK FOR UPDATES!

Icebreaker Exercise

The pretzel shop Daily Dagger reminded me of a story that happened back at my beloved alma mater:

When I was in college, I took a public speaking class. On the first day, we had to get with a partner, tell one another about ourselves, and then our partners would introduce us to the class. 

Well, I got paired up with a girl who we�ll call Jessica. Jessica was very thin and very blonde. She wore tailored jeans and high heels, even though were in an 8 a.m. summer school class at an all girls� school (where most everybody wore pajamas). Among other things, Jessica told me about her love for animals. She told me she had two cats and was majoring in biology so that she could become a veterinarian. In fact, she was working as a receptionist at a local vet�s office part time. 

I was a freshman, searching for my identity. I didn�t know what I wanted to be. I hadn�t picked a major. I hadn�t ever had a real job. I didn�t know this girl. I wasn�t going to pour my heart out to her about all the soul searching I�d been doing. I told her that I was from Raleigh and that I had three sisters. I told her that my family had a poodle and that I�d just transferred from UNC-G. She asked me where I worked, and I said that I didn�t have a job. Then for some random reason I threw in, �I�ve kind of always thought it would be fun to work at a pretzel shop though. It seems fun to swing the dough around�and I think it�d be easy��

So I had given her some dumb facts about myself. I guessed that I would sound pretty normal when she introduced me, maybe a little generic, but whatever. I mean, there were like 8 people in the class, and I figured they�d see my personality shine when we got further into the semester and I could do my actual speeches. 

Well, finally it was our turn to introduce ourselves. We went and stood in front of the class together. 

I went first. �This is Jessica. She�s from New England, and she moved to NC last year to go to Meredith. Jessica has two cats, and she is studying biology so that she can become a veterinarian.� That was pretty painless, I thought. The hard part is over. Now I�ve just got to stand here while she talks about me. 

Jessica began. �This is Mary!� Her high pitched voice rang out, as she gestured toward me. �Mary has lived in Raleigh for her whole life. Well, except for one semester when she went to UNC-G, but moved home because she didn�t like it. Mary doesn�t really know what she wants to major in. She also doesn�t know what she wants to be when she grows up, but she thinks she might want to work at a pretzel shop because it�d be easy�� 

I looked out at the class as each face stared back at me. Ohmigod, I thought. Could she have made me sound any lamer?! Jessica had made me sound like a total loser pot-head or something. I looked like the most unmotivated person in the world. I was the female equivalent of Clueless�s Travis Birkenstock. 

�Okkkk�� the professor said. �Thank you Jessica, and what was it again�oh yes, Mary. Thank you, both!� 

I shuffled back to my seat, silently vowing to never speak with Jessica again.   

Do NOT Give Your Kid a Weird Name

I named my dog Tyra. Although she was not named after her, my dog happens to have the same name as television personality/model Tyra Banks. I saw my dog and just thought, this dog screams 'call me Tyra'. When I gave my dog this name, I figured that enough people would have heard of Tyra Banks to know how to pronounce the name. Apparently, I was wrong.

Nobody can get my dog�s name right!

Tara is the most common mispronunciation. Tarah comes in a close second. She�s also been called Tyrell, Tyrone and Tyler.

It doesn�t bother me. I think it�s pretty hilarious. I mean, Tyrone?!  

I used to want to give my kids weird names like Bijou and Loulah (ok, I still like Loulah�), but now I�ve realized that it probably would be pretty annoying for a kid to go through life with such a difficult name. I mean, people can�t even figure out Tyra, and there�s a pretty popular Emmy Award-winning talk show host with that name!

Just some food for thought!

The Garland H. Jones Building

This is The Garland H. Jones building.  It's on the corner of Martin and Salisbury St. downtown.  I have to go to this building every now and then, (The Register of Deeds is in there) but I walk pass it almost every day.   I always admire this building.  I know that a lot of people think it's totally fug, but I love it.  Here are the reasons why:

1.)  It looks like something Mr. Brady would have designed- he was an architect after all.  It's like the 70s exploded on the corner.  I have a real love for the buildings of the 70s.  In fact, one day I hope to live in a ranch style home with lots of wood paneling!  Dare to dream!

2.) There is a lot of blue, and I love blue.

3.) It tells you the time and temperature.

4.) A really nice security guard sits in the lobby, and he always makes me feel welcome!  One day on my way to The Register of Deeds, a cracked out guy started hollering at me.  He said something like, "Hey!  Hey!  PRETTY LADY!" I smiled and then continued on my way (I'm always flattered by a compliment, no matter who it's from).  So I figured he would just leave me alone, but he started hobbling after me for about a block and a half.  "HEY!  WAIT!"  He kept on shouting the whole time.  I was reaching for the door of The Garland H. Jones Building, and the weirdo was about to follow me in.  But I saw my favorite security guard sitting inside.  We made eye contact, and I felt sure that he would not let this crackhead inside after me (a silent understanding if you will).  And he didn't!  And when I came out, the dope fiend was nowhere in sight.  I'm sure the security guard wouldn't remember this (or even remember me for that matter).  Either way, it concludes my point.  You can feel safe here.

I'm sure there are more amazing things about this structure, but I can't think of them now.  Anyways, I think they are going to deconstruct this building.  UGH.  What a shame!  Raleigh is tearing down everything with character.  Don't even get me started on the neighborhood houses!  Whatever.  I am going to enjoy the ole GHJ Building as long as I can.

Ja-maican' Me Hongary!

I realize that I may have a strange sense of humor, or maybe I just find totally stupid things hilarious.  But at the risk of coming off like a total lunatic, I'm going to share something with you.

Every now and then, like most people, I have trouble falling asleep at night.  I usually read or play online when this happens.  There are times when I am still not tired after I have surfed all the essential sites: Facebook, Perez Hilton, Urban Outfitters, Anthropologie, Forever 21, What Would Taylor Durden Do, and The NC Inmate Directory (usually in that order).  So, when I'm STILL awake after all of that I go to Myspace (which I feel has lost a lot of it luster).  And one day, I SOMEHOW found these weird myspace pages, and they are incredibly addicting. 

They are Myspace pages dedicated to food!  Yeah!  Here are some of my favorites (don't judge):

Cupcake: This page is hilarious!  I love that it has the Growing Pains theme song playing in the background!  Cupcake also has a lot of other foods in its Top Friends, so you can get off to a good start on your Foods of Myspace scavenger hunt!

Fried Rice: This one is great because the Fried Rice is acting like a person!  Check out his About Me section!  This is my favorite quote from the Fried Rice: "Sometimes when nobody is looking I like to dance! But I know, even if I don't like to say it, that the dream of dancing will never come true for just a plate of rice."

Fried Cheese: Just looks good. 

There are so many more.  If you get on a good trail, the possibilities of how many you will find can be limitless! 

Anyway, some of the sites offer recipes or history about the featured foods, so it can be pretty informative.  I don't know who has time to sit around making these.  I guess I can't really talk, because I sit around looking at them.   I just think it's highly entertaining. 

Dr. Drew Pinsky

I think that Dr. Drew is amazing!  I just love him!  He seems like he really helps so many people.  He really was amazing with all the people on Celebrity Rehab and now he is helping Joey from The Real World.  I bet I already know what Dr. Drew is going to say to Joey.  He will probably tell that he's a real loose cannon and that Joey needs to get out of The Real World and go to sober living!  How can Joey stay sober in The Real World house?!  It's just asking for trouble.

Anyways, Drew seems to have it all together.  He always knows what to say. 

I just wanted to honor him on the site.  Plus, I think he is really getting more distinguished as he gets older.  What do you think?!

Off to a start

My dad suggested that I start a blog, so here I am.  I'm interested to see where this goes!  I don't have a lot of time right now, but I will update soon!!!