Cliff Pant-one

Cliff's Favorite Reality TV Bromances

Oh me.  Oh my.  You know I love some reality TV.  You can't really blame me; it's enthralling stuff!  I've noticed a trend on some of these shows.  Sometimes when people join the cast of a reality show, they form stronger relationships than they'd ever bargained for.  Friendships that will last a lifetime, if you will.  Some of the most touching bonds that have been formed have been between men, and I'm not talking gay men.  I'm talking bromances.  I just love it when two men can lean on one another and shed a tear.  I love it when they can talk about emotions and wipe bits of salsa off their bro's cheek.  And I especially love it when the producers of such shows create video montages of the two bros set to the backdrop of cheesy love songs, as if they were really romantically in love.

So this has led me to some thinking, which in turn resulted in Cliff Pant-one's Favorite Bromances of Reality TV (in no particular order) list!  Hold onto your socks, cuz I'm about to knock 'em off:

Ryan and Chet (Real World: Brooklyn)

 

These two had a connection that was undeniable.  From the moment they entered the house, it was them against the world.

Nick and Aaron Carter (House of Carters)

 

Just because they're brothers doesn't mean they can't be bromantical.  Nick's tough love helped strengthen Aaron's grasp on the ropes of life, and in the process, created a bromance that could make the toughest meat-head weep.

Luke and Alex(Bromance)

 

They were competing for a Bromance with Brody Jenner, but they found something they could never have dreamed of: each other.

Tim Gunn and Andrae Gonzalo (Project Runway, Season 2)

 

This was a classic case of teacher falls for student (and vice versa).  So adorable!  -(and yes they are gay, but not romantically involved, so I conside it a bromance)- Somebody also made a hysterical video about this one.  Check it below!

There is something to say for these bromances: they are real.  That is why it's called REALITY TV.  Beavis and Butthead, Rickey and Fred, Jerry and George- they got nothing on these guys. 

Cliff's Most Fascinating People: Aaron Carter

I have been watching House of Carters all day long...well not really all day long, but for a good portion of it...  Anyhow, I've realized that Aaron Carter is an amazingly fascinating person.  If you have not seen this show, please check it out on Itunes ASAP. 

Why is Aaron so worthy of the list?! 

1. He's intense.  Aaron is prone to bouts of severe emotion.  Whether he is talking about how big his heart is (so big that he's been gripping it, feeling how hard it is beating) or having deep conversations about how wise Nick is, he's always very in touch with his emotions.  He really does have a big heart. 

2. He wants lots of sex.  At one point, he yells at his family, saying that he wants to have sex because he's very sexually frustrated since he hasn't had any sex for a year and all his siblings have been having a lot of sex.
3. He's an amazing dancer.  I will be following this post with a clip of Aaron's moves.
4. He looks like a blonde version of Tommy Lee.  He's a bit weathered for such a young man.  He has the look of a recovering addict, but he works it in a good way.
5. He's never wearing a shirt.
6. He gets drunk and acts a fool at the grocery store.
7. He barks at Nick in the midst of a fight.
8. He's a family man.


After watching him for hours upon end, I've realized that I want to be his girlfriend.  I don't really care if I'm a bit older.  If anybody reading this knows Aaron, please give him my contact info. 

Let's take some time to review a few Aaron quotes (a lot of them are funnier in context, which is why you need to purchase the epps on Itunes)...

• "I want to go back and have sex , 'cause it's been a year since I fucking had any sex, and you guys are all having are having LOTS of sex, and I am very sexualy frusturated!"

I'm actually having a hard time with my video player, so let's just let some clips speak for themselves.  Either way, just know this: I think Aaron Carter is a genius...BEST SHOW EVER.

Misty Water Colored Memories: The Torkelsons

Do you remember The Torkelsons?!  I do!  It was a brilliant show about this woman, Millicent Torkelson, raising her five children in the small town of Pyramid Corners, Oklaholma.  Millicent has a lot of financial woes, which she struggles with throughout the show.  The money problem gets so bad, they have to get a boarder to live in their basement, whom they refer to him as "Boarder Hodges..." because his name is Wesley Hodges. And by the way, I always find it odd when people refer to one another as whatever they are followed by their name.  For example: Widow Jenkins (Buttercream Gang reference) or Cousin Dick (Full House reference). I would hate to be singled out as "Courier Mary" or "Daughter Mary."

Either way the show was tops!  One of the best of it's time.

All the kids had double names: Dorothy Jane, Steven Floyd, Ruth Ann, Chuckie Lee and Mary Sue (that's also the order of their ages from oldest to youngest...how do you like them apples!?).  Dorothy Jane was a whimsical teenager who frequently sat on her widow seat and conversed with "the man in the moon."  As a kid, I thought she was so cool for having a window seat.  I wanted a window seat more than anything.  So much so that I tried to craft one by setting up my toy chest in front of a window and putting a bunch of pillows on it.  It was not the most comfy.  So when that didn't work, I tried to climb onto a shelf that was built into the wall underneath this window that we had in a little alcove.  I didn't fit, and I most likely did a bit of damage to the shelf.

Anyways, I digress!  Dorothy Jane was the kid they focused most on.  The rest were kind of secondary and annoying.

One eppisode I remember really well was when Dorothy Jane was trying to get advice from the most popular girl in school, Callie Kimbro.  Callie's advice to DJ was something like this, "Just be confident.  Say to yourself, 'I'm better than everybody else.  I'm the homecoming queen."  You have to imagine that being said in a very many southern voice (because Callie was cursed with a deep voice).  Me and Kitty still quote her on this.  Hey!  It's good advice!

Oh!  I did some IMDBing, and it looks like everybody in the cast has a pretty long acting resume (Ruth Anne's was the shortest). 

Anyways, it's a great show.  If you didn't ever get a chance to see it, here's a clip:

Dog Hypnotized by Cupcakes

I also react to baked goods in this manner:

The Rephresh Commercial Makes Me VERY Uncomfortable.

I hope this never comes on when I have a boy over!

WTF: Drugged-out Aussie Kangaroo Dancing at Volleyball Game

 

This is a still from the Aussie Shampoo commercial- the one where they're all playing volleyball, and this guy is on the side lines dancing like a spasming starfish.  I find it highly entertaining.  They're just playing ball, and then they flash over, for like a split second, to said marsupial.  He looks insane. He's just convulsing for a second, humping the air. His tongue is hanging out of his mouth, for Chrissake.  It's like he took some Xanax before the game and is trying to muster up the energy to cheer and look alive.  Oh me.  Just makes me laugh.  Here's the full commercial:

Cliff's Most Fascinating People: Michael Pitt

Michael Pitt is an actor.  Over the last few weeks, I've grown increasingly fond of him.  I was reading Girl Boy Girl, the memoir of Savannah Knoop (one of the women behind the infamous  J.T. Leroy literary hoax), and Michael Pitt was mentioned as a friend of "J.T." 

In Knoop's book, it was said that Pitt had been a regular on Dawson's Creek.  The book also said that the producer's of Dawson's Creek weren't happy about Pitt being in The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things (movie of J.T.'s book) and some other films. 

Well...I'll admit, I was a fan of the creek.  Shocking, I know!  I guess I just had a soft spot for Pacey Witter.  Who could resist?!  Anyways, I didn't recognize Pitt's name, and I wanted to know which character was doing all these unwholesome movies, so of course I IMDBd him.  Turns out that Mr. Michael played Henry, Jen Lindley's freshman football boyfriend.  OH HENRY!  The innocent little guy, falling victim to Jen's cougar like charms. 

So blah blah blah.  Just a bunch of background!  Why is Michael Pitt fascinating?!  I'll tell you why! 

NUMBER ONE: He is in some really great movies!  Some of them are pretty edgy and controversial. It's hard to conceive Pitt is the same buck who tossed pigskin for Capeside High.  I loved The Dreamers(although not recommended for those without open minds, strong stomachs or appreciation for full frontal nudity).  I also enjoyed Deliriousimmensely.  He also has like a million other movies that I still need to check out. 

NUMBER TWO: He looks like Leonardo DiCaprio circa Basketball Diaries.  For me, just that is reason enough to be one of CP's most fascinating.  I read that book (and pretty much anything my good friend Jim Carrol wrote) and watched that movie a million times throughout my youth.  Maybe that's saying something... Besides looking like Leo/my personal image of Jim, he is just really beautiful.  Not in a conventional way...he's very...ok, I'm going to stop before I throw up just listening to myself.

NUMBER THREE: He's an Aries.  Enough said.

NUMBER FOUR:  He plays guitar in a band called Pagoda.

So yes, I find Michael Pitt to be very fascinating.  He's a great actor, and from what I've read, he is really serious about his craft.  It seems to me that he may be a fan of the good ole' Stanislavski Method!  I'd like to think that'd be my method of choice should I ever decide to give it a go in the acting world, but that's besides the point.  On top of that, he doesn't seem to feed into the Hollywood junk, and he seems like he'd be a cool guy to know.

Here are some trailers for the aforementioned films:

Spotted: No More Badgers Magnet

All throughout NC (I think), they have these TV commercials for Johnson Automotive with this hilarious badger car salesman.  The badger tries to sell people cars, and he's really rude to them.  My favorite badger quote comes when he's pitching a car to a woman and the badger says, "There's a rear-view mirror- that's where you can put on your makeup..."

Anyways, it's much funnier when you actually see the badger, so here's a Youtube video of all the commercials put together:

 

Now you see what a riot they are!  I mean it's impossible to keep a straight face when the badger says, "DON"T TALK TO ME; I"M ON MY POPCORN BREAK!"  And what about his crazy wiggle room dance?!  That wonky furball gets me every time!

Well, this guy who lives in my sisters neighborhood has a magnet on his car.  Here it is:  

Isn't that hilarious?!?  I have never seen another one of these.  I mean, I guess if they are giving them out at the dealership, most people would probably just put it on the fridge and NOT on their new car.  I would put it on mine... It's way cooler than those magnetic soccer balls and charity ribbons everybody is slapping on these days.  My cousin from out of town was like, "Why does that person have a giant animal in a suit on his car?!"  I imagine it would be quit puzzling if you didn't know what that was.  It's huge!  It's genius!  How can I get one for the Subaru?!

XOXO~Cliff Pant-one

Misty Water Colored Memories: The ButterCream Gang

When I was little, I loved the movie The ButterCream Gang.  It was one of those straight to video Feature Films For Families that gets delivered right to your door. 

The movie was about a group of kids (Scott, Lanny and Eldon) who go around doing good deeds in their small town.  These do-gooders call themselves The ButterCream Gang.  Mostly they just helped the Window Jenkins, but they were still pillars of their quaint little society!

Well, the action in the movie starts when an old friend Pete comes back to town.  Pete has been living in the big city, where whomever he was living with made spaghetti with ketchup (I distinctively remember him saying that).  Since Pete had a taste of life in the fast lane, he's all crazy!  Scott, Lanny and Eldon invite him back into the BC Gang, but Pete seems a little too far gone.  He even starts dressing like a hispanic gangster, opting only to fasten the TOP button of his dress shirt and wrapping his dome with a dingy bandana.  I mean, he's even goes to Mr. Graff's store saying that he's going to "buy neon shoelaces," but he really steals treats!  Then Pete meets some other small town ruffians, and they start their own youth-gang- a dangerous, edgy youth gang!  They find some young girl in the neighborhood and circle her with their bikes!  Thank goodness Scott comes to her rescue!!!  Then Pete tries to rob Mr. Graff's store! That is when his most powerful acting comes out.  He really goes bananas. What the heck could have happened to him in Chicago?!  I don't think they ever reveal that.

I'm sure you're all wondering where the cast is now.  Well, it looks like the rebel Pete has developed quite a resume.  His real name is Michael D. Wheatherred, and he has been in a lot of films that I've never seen.  The only other movie that Scott, Lanny OR Eldon were in was The ButterCream Gang in Secret of Treasure Mountain (the sequel).  I guess they were at risk of being typecast!  Same for Window Jenkins, I'm afraid! 

Well, if you haven't seen this movie, you should.  It's a good laugh.  Even when I was seven, I thought it was incredibly cheesy.  I doubt they sell it anymore.  You could probably find it on ebay.  DO IT! And please enjoy these clips:

Drew Barrymore in CoverGirl TruBlend Commercial

Drew Barrymore is in the commercial for CoverGirl's TruBlend.  Every time I watch it, I get the feeling that Drew might've hit the Mystic one too many times before the filming.  Last night, the ad came on when I was watching TV with Jen and Kitty.  Wondering if I was alone in my opinions, I asked them if they thought something looked not quite right with Drew. 

"OHMIGOSH, YESSSSSSS!"  Jen shouted.  Turns out that she has always thought her skin looks weird too.  I'm not alone in this.  Although, not everyone agrees. Katie thinks it is just my TV.  I beg to differ.

Besides looking over-bronzed, Drew's skin looks totally blotchy!  What were the commercial people thinking?  Did they look at her face when they were editing the film?  I mean, it's a commercial for foundation, so the skin is the number one most important thing in the advertisement!  I can't believe they let this go on air!   Her hair and her face are virtually the same color! And her lips too! Don't even get me started on the pucker!  You can hardly tell where her mouth begins or ends.  She is one big monochromatic mug!

Maybe I'm over-dramatic.  It just irritates me that her skin looks so crazy in an advertisement for foundation- a foundation celebrated for it's blending powers, no less! Did something go wrong during the shoot, and they had no time to fix it?!  Did Drew fall victim to an inexperienced airbrusher?  What in the world?!

You be the judge, and let me know what you think!:

A little emo: Travis Barker and Blink 182

I'm sure most people have heard that Travis Barker was in a plane crash and is now in critical condition at a hospital burn unit in GA.  It just reminded me how about how great the Blink182 trio was.  It makes me so sad that they broke up.  No matter what anybody thinks of Blink, I think they're hilarious, and I'm sad that they aren't all together anymore.  They reminded me of me and my friends (not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...).  Either way, their Urethra Chronicles DVD always puts a smile on my face. 

Here is the ending to one of those DVDs.  Maybe Travis's injuries will bring Tom and them closer.  Either way, I hope and pray that Travis, DJ AM and all the families of the victims are doing as well as possible in the given situation.

News Reporting on Kid Who Stole his Grandma's Car

I saw this on my BFF's myspace page, and I thought it was purddy hilarious.  The news can be so fun!

The Hills Parody SERIOUSLY HILARIOUS!

I know I'm on a Hills kick, but whatever.  Go ahead and judge me.  These youtube videos are HYSTERICAL!  Watch them for a good laugh!

Joshua Wins on SYTYCD! (and I think I'm in love...)

So Joshua won!  I'm so happy.  Even though I loved Mark, I think Josh was my favorite male dancer.  And it turns out that I've developed a huge crush on him.  Too bad he is only 19.  I'm getting so old!  Althoughhh, Linda Hogan is like 49 and SHE'S going out with a 19 year old...  But maybe she's not the best person to aspire to? 

BUT, if I cannot have Joshua for myself, I think he and Katee should get together.  They are so cute with one another...especially when he gave her a little kiss during the Bollywood routine!  I love them!  Plus, she is more of his age, and she already knows him- so it just makes more sense that they date.

WHY can't they come to Raleigh on tour?  I am seriously considering going to Charlotte. 

Anyways, I'm VERY glad that Joshua won.  He was amazing!  I really enjoyed the dance he and Katee did last night to "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room."  It was choreographed by Wade Robson.  Josh is so strong!  So hot!  Ahh.  I'm ridiculous.  Either way, I am posting it as a tribute to his win:

An Oldie but a Goodie: Time Travel Speed!

Hillbillies in a Tent

I like to watch Jerry Springer at lunch (a guilty pleasure, I guess).  It is really a hilarious show.  The other day, the topic was "Hillbillies in a Tent."  Here is a synopsis of the show from The Jerry Springer Show's website:

"Drunkin' nights in a tent! Jake is married to Crystal but wants to be with Ashley! Jake likes to get drunk with Ashley and sleep with her in her tent! Crystal wants Jake to stop sleeping with Ashley and come back to her!"

So, it is almost impossible for me to describe how funny this was.  Jake seemed like the dumbest person on the planet.  He was happy with Crystal before they had the baby, when all they would do was go out and get drunk.  Gosh!  I wish I had recorded this show, so I could remember exactly what he said. 

Here is a short clip I found on YouTube.  I will have to work on finding more, so you can really get the idea.

And if you want a taste more, go to Jerry's WEBSITE to see their snippet.

Best moment of best show EVER: The Simple Life (sanasaa song)

The Simple Life is pretty much the best show ever (well, at least up until season 4).  I know a lot of people think the show is totally wack, but they just haven't given it a chance.  Trust me!  I have converted many nonbelievers...even boys! 

I miss the show terribly, but I thank God for the DVDs. Today, I was reminiscing about ole Paris and Nicole and decided to see if I could you-tube some of my favorite moments.  I'm feeling compelled to share.

PLEASE watch. 

The woman in the clip is such an old bitty.  She was obviously only complaining because she felt left out of the singing.  I mean, she didn't have such a problem with the song when SHE got to be part of the Sonasaas.  Maybe she has a low self-esteem and just has to be rude whenever she's feeling left out or insecure.  Come on, Milly!  Don't rain on their parade because you want in! 

And none for Gretchen Weiners...

I have no idea who these people are, but this made me laugh REALLY hard.

The best OC moment ever!

I've been missing my beloved OC, and if you're any normal person, I'm sure you are too!  Why did they have to kill off Marissa and make the show suck.  Seriously, the fourth season was the worst!  I didn't even watch the last episode.  But I LOVED LOVED LOVED seasons 1, 2, and 3.  Sooooo, here are some highlights!

THIS is the best OC moment ever!  It's when Ryan runs up the stairs at Oliver's hotel just in time to kiss Marissa at midnight on New Years Eve.  It is over-dramatization to the fullest, and I'm LOVING it! OhMyGosh, I just watched it and got GOOSEBUMPS!

And just for fun, here is a scene the ladies will love.  It's Marissa and Volchok (or Kevin as I like to call him) hooking up.  I always liked Ryan until Volchok came along.  I looked him up on IMDB, and he is still looking hot!  This clip starts off all messed up, but DON'T WORRY!  The blurry junk goes away right in time for the good stuff!

Judging for these two clips, Marissa sure gets around!  Anyways, I guess I'm just YouTube crazy today!